Well….
Much like Shelli, one of my New Years resolutions was to give up on dating. And then…….I didn’t. (Feel free to check out my blog post at SFC — It really IS some funny azz sh*t). *glances at shelli* I didn’t really say shit. I used a * 
I really didn’t intend to even attempt dating again! Honest! It’s big fat scary dating world out there!
But I was talking to a friend. She’s been dateless longer than me (and like 3x longer than u shell so stop whining LOL) while her ex is on Significant Other #8. Yeah….8. She’s not happy. NOT because he’s moved on but because he continually has someone (including another ex-wife) while she’s got no one!
The one question she and I agree on, “Why do losers continually find someone and nice girls like us can’t?” Even my ex has been married like seven or eight years–(for any of his family members that might read this I did NOT just call him a loser, K? Thx).
It begs the question though. Are women really that dumb? Are MOST WOMEN really that dumb? Or are we just that picky???
Thoughts?
———-
*PS i have another date Wed…I’ll keep you posted 
January 6th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Yay, on the other date!!!
Hmm. I know why I’m single. I really really don’t try. I literally expect the guy to land in my lap. Or me in his
I don’t make eye contact with strange cute men (seriously, I get shy and blush). I don’t answer personal ads. I just write and be a mom.
But really I think there are two kinds of people. The kind that can’t be alone, and those who just don’t care. The kind that can’t be alone always have someone. Usually they have someone in the wings before they breakup with the other someone. Obviously, I’m the ‘don’t mind being alone’ person. I’m sure some day I’ll care enough to date.
Plus, yes, I think some women are really that dumb.
January 6th, 2009 at 11:57 am
[…] over at NAS today. But on to more important […]
January 6th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
LOL@really that dumb!
>>The kind that can’t be alone, and those who just don’t care.
Wow……I guess I just never thought of men like this–though I’ve known plenty of women who’d rather be with a jerk/asshole/loser than be alone. I’m like you though–obviously, but I think I’ve also reached a point where I WANT to so we’ll see how it goes
January 6th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Oh I meant women. But I know men are like that too!
January 6th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Picky and experienced. You know what DOESN’T work, and you don’t want to go through it again. Plus after a while, I think you become more comfortable with the idea of being independent, to the point that you’d rather be alone than with someone you aren’t absolutely crazy over.
I think it’s tougher for single moms. They’re protective and territorial of the family that they’ve managed to nurture all by themselves, and they create somewhat unrealistic goals that prospective mates just can’t meet. They want love, but they don’t want a stranger interfering with their family dynamic.
I’ve seen several single moms that just couldn’t date while their kids were at home. They just didn’t see themselves as dating material and couldn’t see men as dateable until the kids were out of the house. Kid goes to college, Mom starts dating again.
January 6th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Jen makes a good point too. I’m not one of those moms who dumps her kid and hits the bar–never have been. But they’re 15 and 12 now and I’ve done my time (sorry for the prison analogy). Also…it’s hard (maybe especially when you’re a single mom) to seperate the mom from the woman.
And yes Jen after getting repeatedly burned I have high expectations but you know what? I’m nice, I don’t cheat, I have a great sense of humor, I love to cook, I love animals and small children (as long as they’re not mine), I raised two halfway decent boychildren and I’ve put up with a LOT of SHITTY men.
I deserve to be treated fabulously!
January 6th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
I think some of it has to do with society’s or what we think society’s expectations of women are.
Women should be married by a certain age. Have children by a certain age and if not that’s not the norm. And heaven forbid they not be in a relationship. *gasp*
So a lot of women struggle to meet a ridiculous expectation and some just don’t realize it’s perfectly normal to be by yourself. It’s normal not to totally ignore your standards just so you don’t have to be alone.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:09 am
What Emma said.
i have another date Wed…I’ll keep you posted
And I wasn’t notified?!
January 7th, 2009 at 12:12 am
I do see a lot of truth in Jen’s words! And my kid is only 5. And I know plenty of single mom’s who dated/married, but only after being total bar flies. I can count the amount of bars I’ve been to on one hand since I’ve had the kid. And most of them were at the RWA conference! LOL.
January 7th, 2009 at 7:48 am
Let me show you how it is from a man’s POV.
Women are really fussy and very unforgiving. A man, especially at the beginning of the dating cycle, does not dare to make a mistake. His first one will be his last one.
And, although most women will deny it, money and social status plays a huge role in women’s choices. Very, very few women will consider going out with a man with less money or who is lower on the social scale than them.
It leaves a poor and socially awkward man such as myself pretty much SOL. It’s why I’ve given up all hope of a relationship.
January 7th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Rob - You’re right. Women are pretty much impossible. And I don’t mean that in a snarky way. I admit it’s true!
We know we want *something*, but we can’t quite pinpoint it. And if you can’t either…hoo boy…LOL
I do think we have unrealistic expectations at times. I’ve analyzed the fights I’ve had with my husband and I know I’m unfair most of the time. Maybe some day I’ll even tell him that.
Maybe.
January 7th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Jen…NEVER tell him. Or you might lose your chick card :)
Rob…I’ll admit I”m picky but I’ve dated PLENTY of blue collar men and men who didn’t make as much as me, and been treated poorly by most all of them. So, yeah, my expectations are kinda high.
>>And I wasn’t notified?!
SORRY!!!!!!! Will give you a full report when I get home.
Emma…you’re 150% correct, but I no longer buy into that life-model bullshit that the normal people tried to sell me
January 8th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Friend who is completely hopeless here. I will admit that being burned by said serial relationship man had its effect on me. Plus, I have been raising two kids, went back to college for two degrees, started new career, working on starting writing career…and am scared s**tless of not living up to someone else’s expectations.
Plus, I’m kind of like Shelli. I thought I would just happen upon someone. It sure wasn’t this hard to meet people when I was twenty. Now I have no clue about how to meet someone.
Personally, I am leery. I don’t claim to be the best damn thing since sliced bread, but I also don’t think I’m chopped liver, if you know what I mean.
I am sooo happy about the date thing, Ames. I’m still waiting for additional info on that BTW.
Oh, and Rob, you’ve been meeting the wrong kind of women! We aren’t all that shallow.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Friend who is completely hopeless here. I will admit that being burned by said serial relationship man had its effect on me. Plus, I have been raising two kids, went back to college for two degrees, started new career, working on starting writing career…and am scared s**tless of not living up to someone else’s expectations.
Plus, I’m kind of like Shelli. I thought I would just happen upon someone. It sure wasn’t this hard to meet people when I was twenty. Now I have no clue about how to meet someone.
Personally, I am leery. I don’t claim to be the best damn thing since sliced bread, but I also don’t think I’m chopped liver, if you know what I mean.
My ex can’t stand to be without someone. Probably because he can’t stand his own company!
I am sooo happy about the date thing, Ames. I’m still waiting for additional info on that BTW.
Oh, and Rob, you’ve been meeting the wrong kind of women! We aren’t all that shallow.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
>>Plus, I’m kind of like Shelli. I thought I would just happen upon someone. It sure wasn’t this hard to meet people when I was twenty. Now I have no clue about how to meet someone.
I do think it’s definitely harder but Prince Charming (and I use that term loosely) isn’t going to come knocking on our doors. That said, I’m not looking to be “saved” just — heeh — I won’t say it. I’ll be nice.