An Open Letter….to Everyone
Dear Self…do you see how organized you can be when you put your mind to it? Love Me
Dear Me… What happened to that omelet you were going to fix me for breakfast? Yeah, STFU, Kthxbye….Love Self
Dear Son…why is it that 29 days out of 30 you can get yourself to the bus stop but the one day you miss the bus, it’s my fault?
Dear Son…PS I hope you hate Credit Recovery so much that you never EVER fail another class!
Dear Son…PPS…as soon as I learn to crap $100 bills, you’ll be the first to know.
Dear Crock Pot…I heart you. You are my new BFF.
Dear Sarah Palin…I just wanted to let you know how much I really like this planet. I like it so much, I’d like to see my grandchildren born here. To that end, I think your motto: Drill Baby Drill should be reserved for use only in porn movies, kthanxbye!
Dear Puppy…I’m really sorry I had to lock you in the bathroom today and made you cry, but you and I both know if I let you run lose, you’d shit, piss and chew on everything.
Dear Neighbors…I’m really sorry you have to listen to my puppy cry all day.
Dear Neighbors…PS really sorry about the yard. I’ll get that grass cut soon.
Dear Fence…you will be replaced, but you’re last in line.
Dear Advance check…please show up soon. #1 son busted out the tile in my shower and now I have to use the boys’ shower and boys are gross.
Dear Speculators…please stop speculating. I LIKE paying $ 2.62/gal for gas. I’d like it even more if it was $ 2.02/gal.
Dear Blog Readers…please feel free to join me and add your own!
October 21st, 2008 at 10:15 am
Dear Internet news sources: Why are you reporting stories about WWII radar ghosts that looked like UFOs when Iceland is BANKRUPT?
October 21st, 2008 at 10:19 am
Esri…..I know, right! Man they were even talking about it on Bill Maher–scary to think of an entire COUNTRY going bankrupt even though we aren’t terribly far behind them *sigh*
October 21st, 2008 at 10:41 am
Boys ARE gross. LOL
Love the list. Poor whining puppy.
October 21st, 2008 at 11:34 am
[…] I’m over at NAS today with an open letter to, like, everyone. […]
October 21st, 2008 at 11:50 am
Dear box-elder bugs:
Quit crawling all over my home office! GAH!
P.S. to the person who installed my home’s cheap-shit windows. May bugs crawl up both your nostrils right before the good part of your dream about the bisexual twins.
October 21st, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Dear Cold,
You’ve had your fun. It’s time to move on and harass someone else.
October 21st, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Dear body, I’m sorry you’ve been fed crap and lacked exercise in the last few weeks. I shall endeavor to make it up to you.
Dear sex life, it’ll happen. When the moment is right.
October 21st, 2008 at 1:55 pm
LOL Shelli…..aka
Dear Libido…..I’m sorry.
May bugs crawl up both your nostrils right before the good part of your dream about the bisexual twins.
Esri!
Emma!
October 21st, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Dear Ms. Palin…Heard you comment on your opponent’s lack of experience…can you spell HYPOCRISY??…please stop sniffing your kids’ glue.
Dear Mr. McCain…Heard you comment on your opponent’s lack of knowledge of foreign affairs…this from a man who didn’t know Spain was our ally, blink, blink.
Dear Winter…how about one good snow, and then you hit the bricks? brrrr…
October 21st, 2008 at 6:03 pm
To those who made bugs crawl up my nostrils right as it was getting to the good part about the bisexual twins.
October 21st, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Dear Mother Nature:
It’s only the middle of October. It is snowing.
It should not snow south of the Arctic Circle before the beginning of December.
Just a friendly warning.
Rob
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:49 am
LOL Daniel!!! I’m sure Esri is very sorry about ruining your dream.
*hands Rob some extra blankets* Sorry love!
October 23rd, 2008 at 11:08 pm
Dear Clock: Would you please slow down? I need more time to get $%#& done!
Dear Boys: YOU ARE GROSS!! example… “You aren’t supposed to wash your hair every day. It’s not good for your hair.” WTF? BEWARE! Disgusting, sweaty, hormonal male Alert!
October 23rd, 2008 at 11:34 pm
[…] this post is to 1) let my friend Amie know that I do still read her blog; 2) I was inspired by her NAS blog; and 3) let everyone know that I am still alive and kicking and do still have those writing […]