Dear Self…do you see how organized you can be when you put your mind to it? Love Me

Dear Me… What happened to that omelet you were going to fix me for breakfast? Yeah, STFU, Kthxbye….Love Self

Dear Son…why is it that 29 days out of 30 you can get yourself to the bus stop but the one day you miss the bus, it’s my fault?

Dear Son…PS I hope you hate Credit Recovery so much that you never EVER fail another class!

Dear Son…PPS…as soon as I learn to crap $100 bills, you’ll be the first to know.

Dear Crock Pot…I heart you. You are my new BFF.

Dear Sarah Palin…I just wanted to let you know how much I really like this planet. I like it so much, I’d like to see my grandchildren born here. To that end, I think your motto: Drill Baby Drill should be reserved for use only in porn movies, kthanxbye!

Dear Puppy…I’m really sorry I had to lock you in the bathroom today and made you cry, but you and I both know if I let you run lose, you’d shit, piss and chew on everything.

Dear Neighbors…I’m really sorry you have to listen to my puppy cry all day.

Dear Neighbors…PS really sorry about the yard. I’ll get that grass cut soon.

Dear Fence…you will be replaced, but you’re last in line.

Dear Advance check…please show up soon. #1 son busted out the tile in my shower and now I have to use the boys’ shower and boys are gross.

Dear Speculators…please stop speculating. I LIKE paying $ 2.62/gal for gas. I’d like it even more if it was $ 2.02/gal.

Dear Blog Readers…please feel free to join me and add your own!