TMI?
There has been a lot of talk on the internet lately about authors sharing personal information with the general public.
A lot of people really do NOT want to know anything about an author’s sex life and are incredibly turned off when an author shares intimate details on her blog. As someone who walks the line of TMI quite often, I think I fall somewhere in the middle. Anyone who has met me in person knows that being open about my sexuality—and pretty much anything else—is just a natural part of me, so I have to make an effort to tone things down on my blog and this blog.
Some people think that because a woman does not want to discuss her sex life in public it makes he a prude. I happen to know this isn’t true, but that’s besides the point. My point is that I try and not cross the TMI line in a place that is not appropriate. The problem is, everyone’s TMI line is different. For example, you can tell my pretty much anything about your sex life and I won’t blink but please don’t tell me anything about your bowel movements. Really, please. I mean it.
Anyway. I don’t have a problem with authors who choose to openly discuss the details of their sex life but I do think it can limit ones audience. And hey, I’m in this to make a living, so I figure why piss off people if I don’t have to? Sure, folks expect a certain amount of sex talk from me, but, at least to me, there is a difference between speaking generally about my life and giving specific details. Does that make sense?
And now that I’ve sold to a major publisher, I keep in mind the fact that I am not only representing myself, but my publisher as well. So even though I may try and hold back disclosing things like how many orgasms I had last night (five) I’m still willing to discuss pretty much anything in a private environment. That’s just me. If you don’t want to know those things I highly recommend you stay away from the Alt section at Romance Divas or the TMI thread over at Passionate Ink.
So, while I’ll never win any win any discretion awards, believe it or not, I do try. Does this mean I’ll behave perfectly all the time? I really don’t think that’s possible. 
I mean, I am the girl who posted a picture of her collection of vibrators right here on this blog. TMI? Probably. But hey, that’s just me. Now, if had posted specific details about how I’d used those vibrators (and believe me, folks really wanted to know what the goggles were for), that would have crossed a line.
Clear?
What do you think? What crosses your TMI line?
March 6th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
*snicker* Feisty, you are so funny–and so lucky you aren’t a nurse. All people want to discuss with you is the very subject you wish to hear nothing about. ROFL.
I think you need to get a handle on the bragging just as much as the TMI. I mean really, FIVE?!!!!
Manroot deserves a medal, or that infamous collection…hahahaha Oops! See, here we go with the borderline TMI…
March 6th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
LOL, Antonia! I would make a horrible nurse!
March 6th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I say, keep it up. There have to be people willing to push the boundaries - free speech and all…
March 6th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I worked in an organic grocery store off and on for about three years, and that place was the capitol of TMI Land! I heard more about people’s major malfunctions than I would ever have wanted to - no matter how morbid my curiosity might sometimes be.
Of course, being in the “Service Industry” I wasn’t allowed to say anything remotely close to “Sir, I don’t care how large a bowel movement you made after drinking this tea. You can keep that to yourself,” or “Ma’am, I know you’re eighty years old and all, but the length of what came out of you after your most recent enema is of no interest, to me.”
Sex, however, remains a fascinating subject for me, and was one of the reasons I wanted so much to study Abnormal Psychology. People’s attitudes on that subject vary so wildly - I love seeing how others react when the subject is broached. I don’t have a problem sharing, either - much to my hubby’s dismay!
March 6th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I’m with you, sex is fine but one word about anything that happens in a bathroom and I’m done.
Personally, I don’t share info about myself simply because I’m not that interesting and I’d hate to bore people.
March 6th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
March 6th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
I agree with the BM thing, hello
for him to tell me about his latest and greatest conquests, but girl talk would be fine.
The sex stuff, it depends on who it is. I don’t really want to hear sex talk from some guy I don’t really know. Like it would be
March 6th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Gwen, I’m glad I haven’t offended you. Yet. The day is young.
MsMenozzi, LOL! I can just imagine. I would be soo bad at that. Yeah, I can talk about sex till the cows come home, but when I still get embarrassed if I have to buy a condom.
And I too find sex a fascinating subject. Your so right. Isn’t it interesting how people react so differently to this topic? I have a huge range of friends and it never fails to amaze to see which people don’t like to talk about sex. It’s often the most unexpected people. And then my nice little of group of Catholic friends will tell me just about anything. One of my friends recently told me how she like to have sex with her Halloween wig on. I was like, “who! TMI!”
March 6th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Yes, I must agree on the bowel movement thing. Everybody does it and in exactly the same way so who cares?
Sex on the other hand, everybody does it, everybody does it a little (or a lot) differently and everybody’s got their own take on it. Covers a lot of ground.
As far as my sex life goes, I’m pretty open about it. In generalities. Everybody and his dog must know I’m dominant, passionate and patient. Who I’m dominant, passionate and patient with will remain our secret.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Kesley, why don’t you give a try. I bet you’re a lot more fascinating than you think you are.
Sara, that’s really interesting. I also don’t like to hear about strange guy’s sex life. It always sounds like porn.
Lauren, all day long you say?
March 6th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Rob, to me that’s a perfect balance.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I think the folks who don’t want to hear about sex AREN’T hanging around here
That said, yes there’s a line you can cross and yes you/me/we/us/them might stray dammed close at times but again…this IS Naughty and Spice so what the hell were you expecting in the first place? Prayers?
March 6th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
“Excuse me, I thought you said you have lost a ‘what’ ‘where’.” Honestly, you think that might be something I have only had to say once, but it unfortunately is not true.
Now, I am willing to say anything in general terms. For example, masturbation. Everyone does it, and the people who vehemently deny it are most likely lying. But as far as how, when, that is my business.
March 6th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Well you know me Ms Feisty, I’m fairly quiet and i still blush quite a lot. I’ll occasionally share details about my underwear (see knicker shock on my blog) or comment about my general attitude to lurve (’Just Gay enough’ here) but that’s as far as it goes. My problem is all the people who insist on telling me about their complicated love lives or weirdness they have encountered as if I’m going to take out a pen and start transcribing it into my next book. Kate x
March 6th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Lia, now I happen to know you don’t have much of a TMI line, and I like that about you. In fact, I remember a certain camera-phone image you showed me in Dallas…
Kate, I love that you’re so sweet and proper in person and yet I know what a dirty little mind you have. It’s a very endearing quality.
And I know what you mean about people telling you all their fantasies. However, it can be quite handy. In fact, that’s exactly how I came up with the idea for I Love Lacy.
March 6th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Well I was ready to have a logical post about
but well I couldn’t come up with anything cos I’m still stuck on the five orgasms bit.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
I think the TMI factor also depends on the person. I know you, Feisty, so there’s not TMI. I’m pretty easy going as well. I tend to say a lot, but maybe no on my blog…on NAS is about as wild as I get. Hmm.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
TMI?
What’s that?
Knowledge is power! Well, it makes you knowledgable anyway. LOL
Like beauty it’s in the eye of the beholder. Like anything you don’t agree with switch off. And surely people aren’t getting pissed that some authors actually do what they write about!?
Honestly people need to get over other peoples tastes. You don’t see me freaking out whenever someone swallows custard! I bet you thought I was gonna say something else, right? Although, that probably goes in the custard catergory. Damn, I hate swallowing slimy things. I’m retching just thinking about it going down…..
March 8th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I’m so used to
at this point that I barely notice it. But then again I have coworkers who discuss things like porn and anal sex in the lunch room at work!
Keep the TMI coming as far as I’m concerned. It’s what I love best about Naughty & Spice.
Minx
March 11th, 2008 at 7:55 am
I share your views on the TMI issue. There’s a name for those who go digging for details then acted all squicked. I don’t say words like that, though.