Okay I know she really pissed off Shelli with her curly hair comment but I gotta admit something - I find Patti the Millionaire Matchmaker and the show on Bravo absolutely fascinating.

First of all, she’s nuts. No, seriously. I think anyone who is that driven and can create something out of virtually nothing (i.e. a matchmaking service for millionaires) has to be a little crazy. Wait, for rich people it’s not crazy. The term is eccentric (my former boss the rich guy told me that).

Sometimes her views are spot on. Like all of these mid-40’s bachelors who suddenly realize they need a wife, stat. And they gravitate towards the young, hot mid-20s type chick. Not a good match, Patti always warns them. It’s not going to work. I’d say nine times out of ten, she’s right.

I also liked the episode where she dug deep with the player who’s never been in love. This is what I remember her asking him:

“So have you ever been in a long term relationship?”

“Yeah, for a month or so.”

“No, that doesn’t count. Okay, no long term relationships. Have you ever been in love?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Ever owned a pet?”

“Nope.”

“Do you have a houseplant? Something, anything you need to take care of?”

“Uh, no.”

“Okay then you’ve never been responsible for or taken care of anyone in your entire life.”

 That conversation rang about a million (ha!) bells for me inside my head. “Save this!” my mind screeched. “Use this later for some tortured hero who doesn’t know how to love!”

So…yeah. I did stuff that little tidbit away and I plan on using it. And though she may be crazy and a little bitchy, I gotta say Patti makes great TV.  And I can’t stop watching her.

 Damn reality TV…always sucks me right in.

So I was visiting my CP yesterday, doing the blog rounds and she asked a rather pertinent question.

Do you have similar themes in your books? Or similar heroes? Do you always write Betas or Alphas? Is your heroine always spunky? Does your internal conflict always involve a lost love reeking havoc on one of your protagonists? Do you always have a woman running from a psychotic ex-husband/boyfriend etc? What similarities do you see in your last book or the one before that with the one you’re working on now?

The answer would be……..YES.  I tend to write about women who are alone, but not weak.  And if my heroine does have a family, she’s typically not close to them.  I tend to write betas or gammas for my guys.  I tend to write/love snappy dialogue (and I like to use dialogue to push a story forward).  I tend to write women who are sexually experienced and/or comfortable with their sexuality and I tend to have food in my books.

As a reader, I like snappy dialogue too.   And fast-paced books, so I usually don’t read a lot of historicals but love suspense and urban fantasy.

So what about you?  As a reader or a writer, what do you see repeating itself in your habits?

So usually I love the Ellen show, but I’m going to say last week it kind of pissed me off. (Really, Ellen, what were you thinking bringing on such a crappy guest?) Now, I still don’t even really know who the guest witch was. Except she looked entirely plastic and hosts (I think?) some show about dating or marrying millionaires.

Anyway, at this rate you’re probably thinking (or maybe you already know exactly what I’m talking about) will Shelli get to the damn point already? Okay. Fine. Here goes. And again, I was only half listening, but basically she was talking to women who wanted to marry millionaires and said something along the lines of… If you have curly hair, straighten it. No man wants to run his hands through a brillo pad.

Well, first, I thought…

followed by a rapid…

You know, I used to hate my hair. I’ll never get to do the 100 strokes with the brush before bed (unless I want hair that strokes the ceiling). Never will I be able to rush into the salon screaming, “Give me the Rachel cut, and stat!” No…we curly haired chicks live a life of hair unlike you others. We are the queens of finger combing, we tend to fear hair dryers something awful, and we’re always on the quest for the perfect product to give us soft sexy curls with good hold.

And you know what? It took me seventeen years and one time straightening my hair to realize: so what. My hair’s not straight, and no amount of chemicals is going to make it look it otherwise. I now love my curls. They’re who I am. And I’ve never had a man tell me I should consider straightening it. Last I checked no man has lost a finger in my locks…err, wait…let me check…oh…maybe… nope, that’s a Little Smokie hanging out from the Super Bowl. When I think about it, some of the men I’ve dated think the curls are the hottest thing about me (which, I don’t get it, I think I’ve got a pretty nice rack for the time being).

So really, Ms. Millionaire matchmaker, I think curls are sexy. And I think some men do, too. But if you think having curly hair puts some of us in the shit end of the dating pool, then I’ll say it again. You and your curly-lock hatin’ rich bachelors can just…

I’ll take a man who likes it a little kinky any day.

Will you see the movie?

This hilarious video is for the boys. Happy Valentine’s Day!

My bestest, dearest friend Linda B. sent this to me via email. Linda and I go waaay back. We’ve been friends since we were 11! She’s been through it all with me and I with her. The good, the bad and the ugly in all its glory. She’s so funny, I always laugh when I talk to her. A lot.

So yeah I might be cheating a little bit to post this list/email I received but it’s just too damn good to not share. I guess Andy Rooney said it on Sixty Minutes though I don’t know when. But I’m definitely giving Andy credit.

Enjoy!

(more…)

So I’ve snipped some gems from my own blog to share with you today. Why am I sharing? Because I think it’s time to stop the madness that is VD.

So we get home last night and I’m piddling in the kitchen, trying to get dinner started, and child #2 is pretending he’s doing the dishes and child #1 comes wandering in from the living room and says, “How come girls can say things like “I love you” to each other and hug but boys can’t?”

I say, “Well–”

Then #2 son (who is 11!!) interrupts me and says “Because girl on girl is hot but boy on boy is grossssssssss!”

Um wait, let’s try that again. People…..this is what we’re doing to our children. In honor of VD I’m reposting an oldie but goodie story about #2 son (this is actually from 2006) and asking you to help me stop the madness.  No, I’m not kidding.

Or a mother’s retelling of a VD Tale…… Last year in Mid-January my phone rang. It was a little girl–we’ll call her GF for girl friend (as in another girl’s friend). She wanted to talk to #2 who, at the time, had just turned 9 and had a crush on MH (mini-hottie). Well GF was calling because OCG (other cute girl) was interested in #2 and wanted him to be her Valentine.

Are you still with me?

One boy (who’s ADD, immature and talks like a grown person–figure that one out), and three girls (One running interference). So, GF called and called and called with increasing frequency in the days and weeks leading up to …you guessed it…VD  :doh:

Drove us all up the wall and gave #1 son much ammunition to use against smaller, younger brother (who will some day beat the snot out of him). But I digress…..GF was calling on three-way with OCG listening in. And my son, having the tact of a gnat, tells GF “I’ll be her Valentine if she’ll leave me alone and quit calling my house.”

Mom says, “Son don’t be mean. Use a little tact.”

#2 “I don’t want to be her Valentine. I want to be MH’s Valentine but OCG said MH said that she didn’t like me.”

Mom says, “Son that’s normal. OCG wants you for herself, so of course she told you that MH didn’t like you! Did you talk to MH?”

#2 “No cuz OCG said MH didn’t like me!”

Mom says, “OCG LIED!!!!! She’s a lying skeezer!” Okay I didn’t call her a lying skeezer out loud. But I thought it. Girlfriend had already learned the game, if you catch my drift.

So while Poor #2 was pining away for MH, he had to pick out a VD gift for OCG.

The moral of this story? Never listen to the other cute girl. Or maybe, it’s just as good to have no Valentine at all as it is to get your arm twisted into buying something for the Other Cute Girl.