Curly haired bitches unite!
So usually I love the Ellen show, but I’m going to say last week it kind of pissed me off. (Really, Ellen, what were you thinking bringing on such a crappy guest?) Now, I still don’t even really know who the guest witch was. Except she looked entirely plastic and hosts (I think?) some show about dating or marrying millionaires.
Anyway, at this rate you’re probably thinking (or maybe you already know exactly what I’m talking about) will Shelli get to the damn point already? Okay. Fine. Here goes. And again, I was only half listening, but basically she was talking to women who wanted to marry millionaires and said something along the lines of… If you have curly hair, straighten it. No man wants to run his hands through a brillo pad.
Well, first, I thought…
followed by a rapid…
You know, I used to hate my hair. I’ll never get to do the 100 strokes with the brush before bed (unless I want hair that strokes the ceiling). Never will I be able to rush into the salon screaming, “Give me the Rachel cut, and stat!” No…we curly haired chicks live a life of hair unlike you others. We are the queens of finger combing, we tend to fear hair dryers something awful, and we’re always on the quest for the perfect product to give us soft sexy curls with good hold.
And you know what? It took me seventeen years and one time straightening my hair to realize: so what. My hair’s not straight, and no amount of chemicals is going to make it look it otherwise. I now love my curls. They’re who I am. And I’ve never had a man tell me I should consider straightening it. Last I checked no man has lost a finger in my locks…err, wait…let me check…oh…maybe… nope, that’s a Little Smokie hanging out from the Super Bowl. When I think about it, some of the men I’ve dated think the curls are the hottest thing about me (which, I don’t get it, I think I’ve got a pretty nice rack for the time being).
So really, Ms. Millionaire matchmaker, I think curls are sexy. And I think some men do, too. But if you think having curly hair puts some of us in the shit end of the dating pool, then I’ll say it again. You and your curly-lock hatin’ rich bachelors can just…
I’ll take a man who likes it a little kinky any day.
February 17th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
You know, that’s bugged me about every single makeover show. They always straighten away the curls What’s wrong with the curly hair?
I wouldn’t be me without the wild mass of red curly hair. People don’t recognize me when I straighten away the curls. And if some rich millionaire isn’t gonna want me cuz of my hairstyle? dude, get a life.
And btw… ionizing hairdryer with a good diffuser, the Curly Hair Institute’s Curl Keeper and a microfibre towel. *Grin*
February 17th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Hmm I may have to check into that. Mostly when a hairdresser does my hair, they try something but it always looks like ass. The hair dresser’s are scary, too.
And it just saddens me when I see Hollywood actresses (Nicole Kidman/Keri Russell just a couple) give into the trend too. Though I don’t blame them. They do what they have to ’stay alive’ in the industry.
February 17th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
I would love to have curls. I’m always trying to get curly. But *sigh* apparently perms went out in the 80’s.
February 17th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
I WANT CURLS!!!!!
Nice sexy curls that move and look alive instead of dead straight like cardboard, oh wait! It’s that what she’s saying? You need to be cardboard for a millionaire to want you? you might be able to straighten your hair but what are you supposed to do with your brains? Oh that’s right, those of us that have brains don’t need millionaires.
February 18th, 2008 at 12:02 am
some show about dating or marrying millionaires.
Big clue there….
February 18th, 2008 at 12:16 am
I wore my hair long and curly for years!!!! It’s a pain in the ass (I also have like enough hair for three people) and frankly, it’s not attractive because I have so much so short and straight works for me. The greatest thing ever invented was the flat iron which was also the best 100 bucks I ever spent in my life (except for that male hooker
)
February 18th, 2008 at 12:23 am
Except for that male hooker…
I love you Amie. I really do.
Okay I have weird wave hair, not quite straight, not quite curly so I straighten it. My mom used to literally iron her hair. OMG…
I’m going to say this and then I’ll shut up. I watch the Millionaire Matchmaker. And I saw the chick she was yelling at about straightening her hair (it didn’t look so good). So the chick did - and it looked HORRIBLE. It wasn’t really straight - it was like straight on top of curl. I felt sorry for the chick - she was beautiful but she had really damaged hair.
Her hair was probably so damaged cos of all the bad advice she’s received. Work with the curl honey, not against it!
February 18th, 2008 at 12:32 am
You know, I guess I haven’t really tried a flat iron. I could look very sexy with flat ironed hair. But Gahd that just sounds like a lot of work. Seriously. A lot of work. And the cool thing about curls is my hair is healthy because I’m not blow drying it all the time or brushing it… maybe flat ironed for a special event. Hmm. I’ll take pics.
Gwen, why the hell did I have to be under ten for most of the 80’s? I was NOT a cute curly headed kid either! LOL.
Rachel, seriously, the funniest part of the show was when the lady was saying the women weren’t just in it for the money.
Karen, I love semi curly hair because you can float that fine line. Be bi-hairly. I ironed my hair once…with an iron. You totally brought back the memory :)
See, that’d be cool if she was just telling that one chick on the show, but she actually turned to the audience members on Ellen and said the same thing. She was adament that men only like silky smooth hair. Oh, and she said they prefer blondes. So make sure it’s straight AND blonde. And at least long enough to run your hands through.
February 18th, 2008 at 12:44 am
February 18th, 2008 at 12:58 am
The grass is always greener, huh?
I would give ANYTHING to have a curl stay in my hair for more than 15 minutes. We used enough product to kill a grown woman on my wedding day, and the curls we managed to twist into my hair were gone within about 2 hours anyway.
Screw what anyone else says. Curly hair is sexy. And I’m jealous!
February 18th, 2008 at 2:26 am
The grass IS always greener, Moira! Ain’t that the truth!
February 18th, 2008 at 2:46 am
And here I was, hoping my bun in the oven gets my curly hair. I guess she’ll never be on a reality TV show having people watch her marry for money. This mother’s hopes are truly dashed.
Shel - if you straighten, have them do it next time you are at the salon. Girl, you do not have that kind of time in life to flat iron your own hair. There is too much of it!
February 18th, 2008 at 2:47 am
“And it just saddens me when I see Hollywood actresses (Nicole Kidman/Keri Russell just a couple) give into the trend too.”
Nicole Kidman never looked hotter than she did in “Far and Away.” Corseted and curly-haired. HOT! HOT! HOT!
I speak as one with thin, straight hair who enjoyed curls for a (very brief) time during puberty (although, to be honest… my curl looked more like a wild ponytail kink than it did anything stylish). Curls are hot. Think about how many romance novel heroines have curly hair.
Yeah. Ms. Millionaire Snagger is clearly brain dead.
February 18th, 2008 at 7:56 am
Had I known my hair was curly, I would’ve let my 1″ butch dyke buzz cut grow out a long, long time ago. I love my curls.
I’m with you on the healthy hair bit, Shelli. No irons, no blow dryers. Takes a bit of planning where air-drying is concerned, but *shrug* so what?
February 18th, 2008 at 8:04 am
Chiming in as another with stick straight hair. I permed the hell out of it for years and as much as I wished it had looked good…it sucked. And I have the pictures to prove it - which no one will EVER see!! I finally had to make peace with the straight hair and settle for admiring the curls in other women’s hair.
February 18th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Since I was a teenager in the 80’s, I saw all my friends paying for spiral perms, a look I could recreate with mousse and a diffuser on the hairdryer. They paid for what I got for free. I love my curls.
When I went short about 2 years ago, I did invest in a good flat iron. And I only use it on the front. The back is still a bunch of curls.
And if you want to get practically, I have gotten a couple of guys, just because of my hair. One guy would have been happy to run his hands through it all the time.
February 18th, 2008 at 10:41 am
My hair is curly and my little sister’s is straight, and when we were teenagers, I was always jealous because she could wear hers straight or curl it (I didn’t know about hair-ironing). But when we got older, I realized that she spent AN HOUR
in front of the mirror every morning, while I could just step out of the shower, run a brush through my hair, and be good to go. I liked getting that extra hour of sleep. 
On the downside, my hair is so fine that if I don’t keep it short, the weight pulls the curl out — if I tried to wear it as long as yours, Shelli, it would look almost straight, with about 2″ of kink at the bottom.
February 18th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Robin mine is short and even with blowdrying AND makeup I’m still done in 45 minutes MAX. It takes me 10 to dry and 10 to iron.
Shelli enjoy it while you got it because (prepares to duck) old women with long hair usually look like crap–it weighs you down, makes you look more wrinkled and usually older.
O’course I’m not particularly attached to my own hair much LOL
February 18th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I had mine straightened once. I looked like a total dork. Much better to just live with the fluff.
February 18th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Emma, yes, she should just suck it. Maybe it’d make her happier.
Jenna, for real! Do you know how long it takes to straighten hair? It’s insane!
Kate, oh I loved Nicole in Far and Away! Such a good movie! See, I never find romance novels with curly haired heroines! Maybe I’m reading the wrong ones?
Alessia, totally healthier! That’s the first thing a stylist will tell me. How healthy my hair is.
Natasha, I want to see pics! I love perm pics!!
Lia, you’re so good! I love it when people are oky with their curls early. It’s almost like ‘coming out of the curly haired closet’.
Robin, that’s the kicker. How long we DON’T spend doing our hair. Though I will say with the longer hair, it takes a bit longer to comb the knots out.
Amie, I’m keeping my hair long until I’m fifty at the earliest.
Of course I say that now.
Alice, love the curlyness. Embrace it. Seriously, when I straightened mine, it was such a joke. Of course I was young and they probably have much better straightening options now.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Shel LOL I think the older I guess the less patience I have with it
February 18th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Hey Ms. Millionaire Matchmaker - thanks for pissing me off! I’m now inspired to write again!
BTW, my product of choice for my curly hair is Curls Rock. It’s blue and does indeed rock!
February 18th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
I always had a perm to keep curl in my hair. I mean the big thing was a spiral perm (just after the big 80’s hair craze.)
I didn’t realize just how fine the texture was in my hair until I had to cut it all off because someone who didn’t believe that a body wave would give me a “curly” perm burned the holy crap out of it! Not pretty.
Only, cure? Cut. It. Off. I’ve had short hair with no perm ever since. Now I get highlights to serve two purposes. 1) Body (flatter than a pancake and fly away) and 2) to cover the stray gray hairs. No wise cracks about the need for another haircut or a highlight job from the peanut gallery, Amie.
February 18th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
My straight, Irish fine hair is healthy because I don’t perm it, blowdry it, or put chemicals on it. It wasn’t always that way. I used to put perms in it and color it all of the time trying to make it something it could never be. I still hate my hair - it’s flatter than angel hair pasta and sticks to my head like a silk scarf. I would love to have curly hair, but curls won’t stay in my hair longer than a half-hour. I can’t brush my hair 100 times either - too much static electricity will build up. And I could never have the Rachel cut because there’s not enough body in it. I still want curls.
February 18th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Jill, hi! Yaay, I’ll look into Curls rock, too! I’m just realizing there’s a lot of women with curls or wavy hair.
Lynn, seriously. Everyone should just love what they have and work it.
Bailey, I bet you have great healthy hair. And there’s a lot to be said about that. Straight hair is sexy too.
February 18th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Oh for goodness sake, Shelli, there’s nothing sexy about limp, whether it’s hair or dicks. Long, flowing - whether it be curly or straight - now that’s sexy. Limp? Would you want a limp noodle?
February 18th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
You can run your hands through limp :) Well, not limp dick. But there’s always…okay, yeah, better not continue with that line of thought!
February 18th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Straight hair is, theoretically, easier to manage, but it can look just as crap as anything else.
February 18th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
I had a spiral perm in the 1980’s
I loved it, but never felt the need again once 1990 rolled around. I always let my long, wavy hair dry naturally, but usually tied it up as soon as it was dry. Lately I’ve been letting it run wild and free and I people are always raving about it. Guess the hippy thang is working for me
Jen
February 18th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Isabella, that’s true. And I think this ladies point was that ‘you can’t run your fingers through curly hair’. But you can, it’s just trickier to get those fingers back
Jen, I love hippie hair. I love the natural look. It’s just so hot and free.
February 18th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
You totally crack me up! I LOVE your hair and although mine is curly too, I am presently slave to the chemically straightening and flat iron, but hell, it isn’t for a man, it’s for me and just another thing to try to make it easier for me to grow it out. I’m sort of hating it though and kinda wanting to hack it all off again….sigh. If it were straight, I’d want it curly
Oh, and about the women who want to marry millionaires - it’d be nice, but c’mon women - get a career for yourself first, so when he leaves you for a younger version of yourself, you get half and have a job still
February 18th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Jammie! God, ain’t that the truth though? Seriously. All this work these chicks put themselves through, and the guy WILL leave them for a younger woman.
I think the only safe age anymore is 18. Men CAN’T go younger. Oh wait, unless he’s R. Kelly.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
WTF is wrong with curly hair? The funny thing is that I straighten it and then curl it!
February 19th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
[…] so I had this big old b*tch fest over at Naughty and Spice on Monday, about curly hair and how men supposedly don’t like it. Anyway, I’d been […]
February 19th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Saw this on Divas and had to comment! I LOVE my curly hair and so does DH! It was one of the first things that attracted him to me. In college I did the whole backpacking Europe thing, and even though I didn’t bring a lot of clothes, (didn’t really need them anyway
) I did bring hair products. Anyway, in my opinion, curly or straight is sexy, as long as its well-maintined ;)
February 19th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Curly hair isn’t sexy?
I never get the memo.
And in this case I’d ball it up and toss it in the circular file. I love curly hair.
February 20th, 2008 at 3:53 am
Sorry - me and my curly red hair will just have to tell the bimbo to take a hike. I wear mine curly some days, straight/curled some days - yes, I straighten it only to curl it on hot rollers, but it’s great - it says for 2 days exactly as it was curled. :) But either way it sure beats having stick straight hair you can’t do anything with. Both of my daughters have the straight stuff, and the oldest can’t even wear barrettes or anything - they slide right out. Me? I can put my hair up with a pencil or a clip or whatever, and it stays… And hubby loves it - he finds it fascinating how it starts off straight and wet and just curls up tighter the drier it gets…
February 20th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Katie, exactly! LOL you need the products!
Rob, thanks! I like to hear guys like it
Georgia, I’m fascinated by that straightening and then curling thing! I see that and go…wow!