Ha ha. Now I have that song in my head! Okay, here we go:

1. Chocolate or Whipped Cream: Chocolate, preferably in M&M form.

2. Leather or PVC: OMG leather. Well, considering I’m a vegan now I probably shouldn’t say leather. But if I was naughty, (and I am) I’d say leather.

3. Outdoor Sex or Indoor Sex: Why do I need to choose? Can’t I do it both ways? Well, I guess if I had to choose I’d say indoor. You can use props that way.

4. In the Jacuzzi or In Bed? I don’t like to have sex in water.

5. Bad Sex or No Sex: Does bad sex still include an orgasm? If not, then no sex at all.

6. Dominate or Be Dominated: On your knees, bitch.

7. Thigh highs or Bodystocking: WTF is a bodystocking?

8. Fast or Slow: I prefer slow. Again, why must I choose? I guess I’d say slow.

9. Rough or Gentle: Rough.

10. Bite or Suck: I’m a vampire, like Karen.

11. Role play or Reality: My entire life is roll play.

12. Dirty Talking or Dirty Talking To: I like a bit of dirty talking done to me.

13. Edible panties or No Panties: I don’t own any underwear.

14. Spanking paddle or Bare-handed: Paddle, but only if I’m the one doing the paddling.

15. Landing Strip or Kojak: Hm, I guess landing strip. As long as it’s a short runway.

16. Multiple Sessions or One Good Fuck: Nothing better than a good fuck!

17. Moaning or Screaming: I’ll quote Karen: I’m not a screamer. I’m a moaner.

18. Older Men or Young Men: It’s great if he has an AARP membership.

19. Threeway or No Way: Three way.

20. Swing or No Swinging: No comment.