HELLO HELLO HELLO! I’m so thrilled to be here at Naughty and Spice!

What? Why are you staring? Is there something in my belly button?

Ohhhhh You expected someone….more mature. Relax dears; see a few years back Santa Dear decided to trade…up.

That’s right, my lovelies, Santa got himself a trophy wife! And I’m here to tell all….except the elves. Don’t ask me about the elves, it’s part of my prenup. But anything else is fair game, so ask away!

VS


Generally, I’m attracted to guys who wouldn’t be considered conventionally good-looking. I love Jack Black, but Brat Pitt? Not so much. Also, I’m such a groupie. I’ll always fall for a talented musician and if he’s an amazing lyricist, too, well, I’m a really happy girl.Here is a list of a few nontraditionally attractive men I’ve had crushes on. (Keep in mind I really do know that some of these names refer to characters and not actual people.)
Jack Black
Lyle Lovette
Frank-N-Furter

Elvis Costello

Alan Rickman

Wes Anderson

Kevin Kline

Ducky

Apparently Charlie Sexton

David Byrne

Sid Vicious

Bill Murray

Jason Schwartzman

Edward Scissorhands

Bill Pullman

Hmm, well, that’s a start. Care to add anyone to the list?

So after Feisty talked about her 80s party and her endless fascination with Madonna I decided to indulge myself in a Madonna search myself.  I love the Madonna of the 80s but truly, my favorite Madonna is when she went through her weird, sexual experimentation stage in the early 90s.

She made those naugty videos that got banned on MTV.  Then she decided to publish that book called Sex which was released in October of 1992 (hey I did my research).  The CD Erotica came out then too (which I bought and STILL love). I was a poor college student who worked a crap job making a crap wage. Of course I couldn’t afford the book, though I wanted it. Trucked my butt to Tower Books in downtown Chico (party college of the 90s my friends!) and flipped through it.  Imagine my shock and horror!  There was Madonna naked!  Kissing girls!  Whipping boys!  Wrapped in chains and black leather! Writing naughty little stories that used **gasp** graphic language!  I didn’t know what to think back then.

Funny how I don’t blink an eye about any of it now.  Hell, I’m trying to make a living out of writing those naughty stories! (Naughty photo alert coming up)

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I’d LOVE to tell you what went on after my RWA party but I can’t….because someeone’s using it as a contest over at SFC. All I can say is while there were no adult toys, there was police involved. AND as if my night weren’t bad enough, I call the kids to tell them I’m um running a wee bit late and they tell me that they spent 2 hours prank calling pizza places!!!!!!! I know I know I shouldn’t laugh….but I also know I did the same thing as a kid–except I DIDN’T TELL MY PARENTS HELLOOOOOOOO oh well.

Sooooooo instead today I’m going to blog about something else. Fellow Author Colleen Gleason is running a Pay it Forward contest on her blog.  There are great prizes for bloggers and participants.  Personally, I think this is a fabulous idea….so fabulous I’m going to play….not because I want to win, but because I think it’s just a really cool idea.

I’ll pick a winner from the readers and the writers….but you have to let me know which one you are.   All you have to do is … You guessed it, Pay it forward.  For the writers, blog about Colleen’s contest.  Then come back and tell me.  For the readers, go do something nice today, tomorrow, Thursday…whenever.  Then come back and share.  It doesn’t have to be huge, just spread a little joy of the season.  You’ve got until Saturday at which time I’ll pick the winners.

The reader winner will get half a dozen new books that I picked up at RWA Nationals this summer.  At least two will be autographed.

The writer winner will get either a) a critique of the first 30 pages (and synopsis up to five pages) of their after January 1, WIP OR I’ll pay your fee for you to take Margie Lawson’s Defeating Self-Defeating Behavour from WriterU in January. I’ve taken one of Margie’s classes before and she’s WONDERFUL!  I’m even going to take this one myself.

So we’ve all been to them. Those parties where a fun little elephant exchange occurs. Well, Thursday night we had our holiday party for the Seattle RWA chapter. We always have a fun little elephant exchange, only you can’t open the present until everyone’s taken or stolen one. And we make it a bit more…interesting. We have one little rule of thumb. It’s all about the wrapping.

By some stroke of luck, I happened to draw the card that got to go first! I stepped up to the table of presents, perusing my options. But there it was. My gaze was drawn right to it. The diamond in the rough. The one gift that just screamed….Shelli, pick me, it’s been too long since we’ve been together! Yes. I grabbed the penis.

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Amie picked this one… blame her. :)

In two weeks I’m going turn thirty-five years old. Naturally, I just want to sit around feeling old and untoned. However, my friend is throwing me an eighties party so that’s not really possible.

Instead of growing old gracefully I’m going to go back in time.Waaay back in time, and it’s all about the costume and the music. Earlier today, I spent a lovely afternoon procrastinating writing by putting together a rockin’ eighties playlist for my ipod.And I’m trying to decide what costume to wear. People used to tell me I looked like Molly Ringlwald, so I was thinking Pretty in Pink. But I don’t have a pink dress, and I’m not in the mood to look for one. And actually, back in the day, I really wanted to be Annie Potts’s character in that movie. She was so much cooler than stupid Andie, don’t you think?  

However, I already have a Madonna outfit (complete with my old Adidas!) but I’ve worn it and I hate wearing costumes twice. So, I’d have to find a new Madonna ensemble. Luckily, there are a lot to choose from. I’ve always wanted to be the above Madonna, but it’s hard to pull off. That’s a difficult jacket to replicate. And even if I substituted something easy, I’d know it wasn’t authentic and it would bug me.
 
Kay, this is a hot outfit, but it’s really unflattering. I mean, it really didn’t even look that good on Madonna and that’s saying something. However, if I wore this I’d have a really good reason to roll around humping the floor. (Normally I just blame alcohol.)

I actually do the Seeking Susan look pretty naturally. I’m sad to say that I could go into my closet and walk out looking pretty similar to this and it would take me all of five minutes.

OR, I could just do the New Wave thing. I do like the makeup.

So, if you lived here and I invited you to my birthday bash, what would magnificent 80’s costume would you create?