We ladies here at NAS hope we don’t offend you with this video, but then again, that’s probably the point of it. To offend. In any case, we still laughed. Is that bad?

No Christmas for You

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Thank you Naughty and Spice ladies for having me as your guest today!

I know this time of year can be crazy under regular circumstances, but dayum, add deadlines to it and you have a perfect cocktail for self-combustion. I know Amie can totally relate to that right now. My New Year’s resolution is to never ever schedule a deadline the month before or the month after Christmas!

Hah! I say that now. Check back with me this time next year and I will be the crazy writer twisted like a pretzel over my keyboard cursing like the Grinch.

So to lighten things up a bit, I’d like to share a little ditty my very talented husband wrote in honor of my manic Christmas deadline crunch.

Enjoy! And Happy Holidays to all!

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So the other night I was at a party. Believe it or not, on occasion, I do get invited to parties in which Nice Girls are also in attendance. 

So I was at a Nice Girl party when one of them started crying. Turns out her friend’s kid had found her vibrator in her closet and when the parent came to pick said kid up, the wee tyke was playing with Nice Girl’s Rabbit. Well, Nice Girl was mortified. Like, bawling, shaking, blubberingly embarrassed. I patted her back and I was like, “It’s okay. It’s just a vibrator. We all have one, right? Right?”

 She just shook her head and said, “I can’t believe someone would think I would put that THING inside of me. I bought if for a JOKE!”

Sure ya did, sweetheart.

 I just stared at Nice Girl. Like, seriously? I totally understand that most women are not overly excited to share the details of their sex lives. But is it really that bad to have someone discover you own a vibrator? Vibrators have been around forever and there’s  a reason: they’re fun! Furthermore, why should a girl rely solely on a penis to get off? Sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Even if she has to do herself.  

Anyway, as a result of this experience, I was wondering what a Nice Girl would think if she discovered my Naughty Girl stash. Surely, I’d be condemmed to a life without getting off. Oh, the horror! 

So because I’m such a Naughty sort of modern woman, I’ve decided to share my collection with the world. Behold! Feisty’s current collection of sex toys: 

Now, come on dear reader and and tell us: Are you a Nice Girl or a Naughty Girl. What do you have hiding in your closet?  

Oh, yes, I know you have one. Of course, we all have the standard list. I want that sweater, those gloves, a gift card, a book, a DVD.  Jewels and furs is what I always tell my husband when he asks what I want. Though I never get any of it.

But what about the naughty list?  The one that would make Santa blush? The one that would make YOU blush?  Come on, let’s confess!

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Again I apologize profusely for not posting these sooner but I’ve been in the depths of deadline hell.

I want to thank you all for playing*…..you’re wonderful

The writer winner is Rachel C.!!

The reader winner is Jane!

You can both contact me at amie at amiestuart dot com so we can take care of your prizes.

Now I’m slinking off back to my cave……Merry Christmas to all and to all a good fight!   :yes:

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*winners picked completely at random by not so small boy-children

We’ve been on about the 80’s a lot. And my topic kind of incorporates that as well. I remember growing up in the 80’s and having all these weird dreams. Scary dreams. And these weird images in my head. I never really knew where they came from.

Well, tonight at a party I think I figured it out. We were knocking back a few drinks and eating way too much, when someone decided to put on a movie. It was a movie I hadn’t seen since I was a wee little kid, but for some reason I remembered the theme song. I would sing this song…and I would occassionally–through out my lifetime–scream out the one line from the movie I remembered…Bastian, call my name. Anyone got it yet? Maybe the big flying dog with the glittery scales will remind you.

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So I was attempting to dance tonight (this is Shelli typing) and was not complimented on my moves. This reminded me of a scene in Never Been Kissed that cracks me the hell up. This is right after Drew Barrymore eats a pot brownie.