Open Mic Spice…with Karin Tabke!
Thank you Naughty and Spice ladies for having me as your guest today! 
I know this time of year can be crazy under regular circumstances, but dayum, add deadlines to it and you have a perfect cocktail for self-combustion. I know Amie can totally relate to that right now. My New Year’s resolution is to never ever schedule a deadline the month before or the month after Christmas!
Hah! I say that now. Check back with me this time next year and I will be the crazy writer twisted like a pretzel over my keyboard cursing like the Grinch.
So to lighten things up a bit, I’d like to share a little ditty my very talented husband wrote in honor of my manic Christmas deadline crunch.
Enjoy! And Happy Holidays to all!
T’was the night before deadline and all through my brain
Not a story was working, I felt totally drained
For weeks I’d been writing again and again
Working my story from beginning to end
My family forgotten, who the hell are they
I’m on a deadline, nothing more to say
In the back of my neck a pain so severe
Hunched over this lap top, I give it a sneer
I know I must focus, this work is due
But people keep calling, and IMing me too
Distractions abound and the tension will mound
If I don’t finish soon, my head it will swoon
Then out on the porch, in front of the house
Something did stir too big for a mouse
The door bell was ringing too busy to care
Won’t someone get that, I’m driven to swear
But alone I must be for no one is moving
The ringing continues, it’s mine for the choosing
Up from my desk and my work at hand
I head for the stairs, “Who is it?” I demand.
Giggling and laughter, what the hell could this be
Some silly door to door, they should know I’m busy
Out on the porch there came such a clatter
I flew down the stairs to see what was the matter
Now to the door, I move in a flash
And yank the thing open, I know, a bit rash
There in the dim from the moonlight high
Coming into focus, the annoyance I spy
Eight tiny Diva’s in their own right
Half in the bag, and out for the night
They rushed right in, and went straight to work
Gals on a mission, not one a jerk
While one mixed martini’s, another had truffle’s
Chips, dip and candy and even a pretzel
A varied group of female persuasion
I still tried to figure what was the occasion
They threw up an easel and a board to boot
It’s a plotting party! oh what a hoot
Idea’s now flowed, and the booze did as well
We were chatting up a storm, this idea was swell
Soon it was finished, my story on track
Another great book, no, I’m no hack
Now out of here all of you, this book I must write
Out of my house, and into the night
I called to them all, each by their name
It was time to get going, this is no game
Now out of here Josie, and Tawny too
Out the door, Jami, Poppy I bid you adieu
Monica and Allison with the others you go
Nat and Bella as well you know
Into the night they staggered away
All on their feet no one had a sleigh
Like waves on the ocean, arms in arms
They swayed down the street, setting off car alarms
The house now quiet, to my office I retreat
Two little dogs and a cat at my feet
I know I can finish with much delight
But I gotta get to work, it’s almost daylight
Off in the distance I can barely hear
The tone deaf singing of Diva’s so dear
Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall
Ninety-nine bottles of beer
We plotted her book, and all got snookered
Ninety-nine bottles of beer…
December 21st, 2007 at 11:39 am
Merry Christmas!
December 21st, 2007 at 12:23 pm
OMG Karin I love this! O’course I hart your hubby–he’s da coolest!
You know what…last year I had a January deadline…you’d think I’d learn to not write right up until the deadline but NOOOOOOOOOO
December 21st, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Ha! That is TOO freaking funny :) I love it! Your hubby wrote it? That’s fabulous!
December 21st, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Merry Christmas to you too, Rob!
Amie, I heart my hubby too. As for the deadline thing. It’s like having a kid. During labor you think, ‘No, effing way am I ever doing this again!’ Next thing ya know, you’re knocked up again.
Shelli, the first one my hubby wrote when my first book came out was hysterical. Hubby is pretty cool in that he can rhyme on command (among other things
). I give him a topic, he rhymes it. When my editor Hilary Sares was in a car accident a couple of years ago on the way to a conference, he wrote her a poem about it to cheer her up. ‘Hilary’s Rattle in Seattle’ was another hit.
December 21st, 2007 at 5:21 pm
I love this! Thanks for sharing! Sounds like your hubby is a keeper. Hilary’s Rattle in Seattle….LMAO
December 21st, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Oh this is too funny. Thanks for sharing it. Your hubby sounds like a talented man.
December 21st, 2007 at 6:47 pm
Karin! Hilary was coming to my conference (Seattle!) when that happened!! Though I wasn’t an officer in the chapter like I am now (Just got elected pres). We felt so bad about that!!
That’s funny about your hubby being able to do things on command. LOL. I filled in the blanks.
December 21st, 2007 at 7:26 pm
Happy to be here, Karen.
Bailey, what are you supposed to be baking?
Shelli, I felt bad for her too! Was it the Emerald City conference? I can’t remember. I went a few years ago and really enjoyed it.
December 21st, 2007 at 7:28 pm
This is terrific! Thanks for sharing.
December 21st, 2007 at 8:08 pm
I’m done! A dozen turtles, 2 dozen sugar cookies (decorated and iced), 2 batches of chocolate fudge, one batch of peanut butter fudge, 1 batch of peanut butter/chocolate swirl fudge. All for work tomorrow. Then I start on the Christmas baking which will also include Cherry Crisp, an apple pie and brownies (not from a mix). I must be insane!