Open Mic Spice with….Mrs. Claus
HELLO HELLO HELLO! I’m so thrilled to be here at Naughty and Spice!
What? Why are you staring? Is there something in my belly button?
Ohhhhh You expected someone….more mature. Relax dears; see a few years back Santa Dear decided to trade…up.
That’s right, my lovelies, Santa got himself a trophy wife! And I’m here to tell all….except the elves. Don’t ask me about the elves, it’s part of my prenup. But anything else is fair game, so ask away!
December 14th, 2007 at 10:55 am
So….Mrs. Clause…do we cal you Mrs. Clause? And wow……a trophy wife! So what did you ask Santa to bring YOU for Christmas…and were you a good little girl?
December 14th, 2007 at 11:34 am
What happened to the old Mrs. Claus? Does Santa have to send out a huge support check to her every month? Does she treat you like crap?
I’m looking for the gossip here…
December 14th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Amie…please, call me Delilah.
Was I good? Well, they do say that naughty is the new nice
December 14th, 2007 at 11:42 am
As for what I want…I would LOVE some Chocolate body paint and maybe some edible undies.
Kisses,
Delilah
December 14th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Karen…kisses! The old Mrs. C now lives in Toronto and yes, the old bag gets a HUGE check every month (it was either that or a restraining order
). I mean we are talking Santa here.
And here’s another little secret, all those toy companies, they give Santa a piece of the pie….or else he sends the elves after them…so the old dude is rolling in it, literally.
He’s so cute when he rolls *giggles*
Kisses,
Delilah
December 14th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Does it ever bother you when Santa yells out “Ho, Ho, Ho” when you’re making love?
December 14th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Bailey,
Only if he forgets to spank me!
Kisses,
Delilah
December 14th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Do you enjoy the feel of Santa’s beard or do you wish he would shave?
December 14th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Susan,
Beard, beard, beard!!! No shaving for my Naughty Santa Boy…not if he wants to keep my kitten happy.
December 14th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
boxers or briefs, or does he go . . . . commando
December 14th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Denise,
Santa loves the feel of velvet against his skin. He’s a manly manly comando man!
Kisses,
Delilah
December 14th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
I know you said no questions about the elves. But…now… I’m sure this is just a rumor, but… does Santa have some kind of ‘arrangement’ with the reindeer? Rudolph specifically? I heard Rudolph didn’t get that lead spot by chance, and it really had nothing to do with his nose. I heard…there were favors…
Can you confirm or deny?
December 14th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Do you ever worry about Santa’s fidelity?
I mean, there he is, popping down all those chimneys where all those hot, single women are waiting for him to give them something…and he’s already wearing the red jammies and sexy leather boots…
December 14th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Dear Mrs Clause,
Is it true that Santa and The Grinch are actually secret lovers, and make you serve them eggnog off a tray placed on your back?
Cheers,
Feisty
December 14th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Gosh, Feisty. I heard that, too. That means there must be an element of truth to it.
December 14th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Raine,
Take another look at my photo and then ask me that. Okay honestly, that’s sort of how Santa and I met. He came down my chimey *giggle* and I was still up, and then he got *ahem* up and…voila! Here I am.
Kisses,
Delilah
December 14th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
That Grinch…he’s pointy everywhere.
December 14th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Shelli,
I know nothing about Rudolph. That was before my time. You’ll have to ask the first Mrs. Clause.
Kisses,
Delilah
December 14th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
And Feisty….honestly, Santa is the one with the submissive streak, not me.
I blame the elves.
Kisses,
Delilah
December 14th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
Really? I could have sworn the Reindeer thing came during your time. Oh that’s right *slaps forehead* It was a recent thing. They were going to put Rudolph down, because of a broken leg. And somehow, well, you know. Something happened and suddenly Rudolph is alive and limping. He can’t fly, and yet he’d top dog, and even has a room in the main lodge?? What’s up, Delilah?
December 14th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
Elves, the Grinch, Rudolph?
December 14th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Shelli,
Santa says be nice or he won’t bring you that extra large dildo you asked for.
Kisses,
Delilah
December 14th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
December 14th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
I have no response to that.
December 14th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
Delilah,
Does it bother you when he gets ON Dancer, ON Prancer, ON Comet …
December 14th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Bailey!!!
You are one of us. We love you!
December 14th, 2007 at 10:12 pm
Well it wasn’t just Rudolph… you know, I’m just saying …
Love you too!
December 14th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
Damn you gotta love a kinky Santa….
December 14th, 2007 at 10:54 pm
You are ALL getting coal for Christmas.
December 14th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
Ooooh, I’m shaking in my slippers.
December 15th, 2007 at 1:46 am
Santa:
I hear coal can be used to make interesting body designs. And, Santa, you should know about coal. After all, how else do you keep Rudolph’s nose from shedding… illuminating… light on their antics? I mean, I know his dad used it to cover the genetic mutation in the beginning, but it tended to rub off during reindeer games…
I’m just saying, there’s probably something kinky behind the coal delivery.
December 15th, 2007 at 1:48 am
Delilah,
Does Santa have a coal fettish we should know about? He sure throws the threat of it around a lot.
I’m just sayin…
December 15th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I always knew Santa was the sub!
December 15th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
(I saw a video of Mrs. Clause ordering him to cane Rudolph once. It was rad.)
December 16th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
Ok I just had to stop by and read the comments you are all cracking me up here
Hugssss
LindaH
December 16th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
Mrs. Claus, Do you have any special plans for this Christmas? What are some of the gifts you are wishing to get this year? Anything naughty that you don’t own yet *G*
Hugssss
LindaH
December 17th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Linda,
Well, I suppose I should just come clean. Santa has a kinky side as wide as his ever expanding belly. So our plans consist of fur trimmed handcuffs, gingerbread massage oil, an extra large candy cane, and what am I forgetting…oh that’s right! The dry ice.
As to what I’d like for Christmas? Jesus. How about another shot of Jack Daniels and cabana boy who isn’t the jolliest damn AARP member out there. But it’s not so bad. I always top Santa’s list.
Kisses,
Delilah
December 17th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Yo Delilah….what type of a pre-nup did Santa give you?
December 17th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
We don’t have one. I was very persuasive with my oral…I mean debating skills.