Slice and Dice
So we’ve had the discussion before. About how others do it. Especially the wealthy and famous. But we’ve never really turned the arrow around and pointed it at ourselves. Have we every really sat down and opened the table for discussion. If we had the opportunity. Would we? Should we? Could we? The following poem is to be sung to ‘Old MacDonald!’
Lots of women get it done
Me I’m saying ow
With a nip tuck here
and a slice dice there
Here an injection
there a laser
Gotta be worse than a corrupt police taser
Lots of women get it done
Me I’m saying ow
So in all seriousness, would you do it? Have you thought about it? I used to say…plastic surgery? Bah! Never! I’m pure and natural. And for the most part, I always hope to be. But the older I get (you know I just had that mile stone of turning 30 last March!) the more I start to wonder.
I wonder about these… 
I love my breasts. I think God gave me a nice set of knockers and I try to take care of them. Ex: Bra or bra top at all times, except while in the shower. Never do the girls go free. My hopes? Slowing down gravity (when they’re big, they go south for more than just the winter!). But realistically, how long can I hold off their destiny? And I have to wonder, if I had the money, would I reconsider getting them done in a decade or two?
So how about you? What would you do? Tummy tuck? Nose job? Lip injections? Boob job? Face lift? Butt implants? Or maybe you’ve already done something. Come my friends, spill it. What would you/have you done?
December 3rd, 2007 at 1:51 am
honestly…I don’t know. I think about it sometimes, then I watch catch a surgery scene on tv and say “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo”.
December 3rd, 2007 at 1:55 am
Gwen, exactly. That’s what I think about too. And then you hear about all those cases that have gone wrong. Eeek!
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:12 am
When I shot fitnmess and bodybuilding I say a ton of fake boobs. I used to be Mr “Bigger is Better” and said “Hey, all my favorite toys growing up were plastic!”. Then something happened. I can’t say when, but I found myself saying “I don’t care the size, just as long as they are real.” Yeah, they may be small or they may be really big but starting to sag, but give me a set of real ones any day. I guess all I am saying here is the fact that all men aren’t out there thinking a set of D’s that don’t move when you lay on your back is attractive.
As far as myself, I would love to know what is good for the laugh lines, if you have seen a pic of me when I smile you will see that my face has a ton of them. Maybe I am just too happy (yeah right). But I don’t want any botox or surgery.
Now a confession: I have been told to leave the gray on my temples alone and as much as I HATE it I have. However, I have started caoloring some of the gray in my beard. Maybe it is because I am soon to be in the dating scene. Who knows, I just got sick of the gray,red,blonde and brown beard so it is now blonde,red,brown with a reduced amount of gray……
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:13 am
Cool discussion, Shelli!
You know, I don’t think I’d ever get anything done on my face. I’ve already had LASIK surgery, LOL! Anyway, I’m also NOT interested in a boob job. I think they’re fine the way they are.
But the one place that really got damaged after having a child is my stomach area. I often consider tummy tucks. I’ve seen yucky surgery footage of what’s involved, but I’ve also seen the results. I like the results - when they’re successful, that is. And I work out, so it would only be a matter of getting rid of that child-bearing damage. Lol. If only it were that easy.
So there you have it. If I was gonna go under the knife, tummy tuck would be my one (and only) choice.
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:16 am
What Gwen said. I’ve been tempted and then I hear horror stories or I watch something on TV that freaks me out.
You know what freaks me out? That freakin’ pic Shell. That’s the crazy woman who wants to look like a lion/cat/whatever right? Good FREAKING LORD she scares the shit out of me. Thanks for giving me nightmares, appreciate it.
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:45 am
Johnny, that’s true. Fake boobs CAN be scary. Especially on a 80 year old woman
And laugh lines are sexy. It shows you’re not afraid to have fun and be happy. People with no laugh lines… I tend to think how boring.
Yolanda, I really understand the tummy tuck thing. If you’re close to having a flat tummy. I’ve never been close and don’t think I ever will! LOL. But if I do… yeah baby!
Karen, that woman scared the bejesus out of me. I had to put her up.
December 3rd, 2007 at 7:42 am
Shelli, that picture scared the shit out of me!
OMG! I honestly don’t think I could ever do it. I have the lines and the sags and while I’d love to look at little “tighter” I’ve earned every one of these lines, damn it!
Besides, the thought of it just scares the shit out of me…just like that picture.
December 3rd, 2007 at 9:19 am
I don’t think I’d have anything done voluntarily — mostly because I’m a big sissy and hate needles and such. Of course, I’d do Lasik in a heartbeat if I could afford it, but that’s because I can see about six inches without my contacts.
December 3rd, 2007 at 9:43 am
I hate needles!!!!
I’m shuddering just thinking about it.
There’s only two things I’d wish for when my fairy god mother turns up. An A instead of the A- I have, and a little less damage down below. Both of these things I can thank my children for. Before children I was a lovely C cup, four hungry mouths later, mmm…. did one of you take something of mine?
The other? Well, four kids natural labour and none below 8 pound! You can imagine, even them damn pelvic floor exercises don’t help.
Anyway, no fairy god mother and definitely no needles. Oh well, Hubby’s not complained yet and he’s been around for 20 years now, I guess it doesn’t matter.
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:34 am
Nope. Only considered it once. On a doctor’s advice to cover up a minor surgery scar on my face.
But I changed my mind.
So nothing for me. I won’t even colour my hair. I like my gray. It makes me distinguished.
Will be getting rid of my pot though. Nothing a little exercise can’t fix.
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:24 pm
No way! I don’t even color plan to color my hair.
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Susan I didn’t color my hair for a couple years after my mom died (I was 30). Then I did, but left the whit streaks in the front and I realized after I colored how OLD being grey made me look (and I was in my early-mid 30’s!)
I HATE the thought of surgery–you know that new movie with the guy who heard folks talking during his surgery about killing him and shit–well folks I woke up during an ER c-sec with Elvis and I’m TERRIFIED….that said, I’d get a tummy tuck in a heartbeat, along with lipo, an ass lift, & breast reduction (and lift)
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:38 pm
OMG Amie you crack me up!
I agree folks, the process itself is so scary! And that picture of the woman too!
And yes Natasha, I love that you’ve ‘earned’ every mark. I totally agree. It’s like what I said to Johnny. It shows you can laugh and cry and that you’ve really lived.
I’ve been coloring my hair since high school, I get bored easily
but usually it’s just brown highlights in the winter, blonde in the summer.
December 3rd, 2007 at 1:26 pm
After losing 65 pounds with 35 more to go I am considering more and more that a tummy tuck and boob lift are NECESSARY! For god’s sake I am falling out of my bras, and the bulge of skin at my lower abdomen looks AWFUL. I know this is :tmi:, sorry, lol. That woman is very, very scary, I don’t think I could have anything done on my face, but then again I haven’t started drooping there yet, so who knows how I will feel later.
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Oh Christ, that picture will give me nightmares tonight :)
In all seriousness, I’m like you. The only surgery I would consider having is on my breasts. They’re my pride and joy, my fave part of my body. I’m happy with their pertness at the moment but in the future I just know they’re gonna sag. Can’t have that
December 3rd, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Christina I’ve lost 50 so I’m right there with you!!!
I’m with Shelli on the hair…not only did I color it, I was a hairdresser and I’m apt to do anything with it at any given time LOL
December 3rd, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Yay, Ava! I have another boob girl
Amie and Cristina, weight loss was one thing I was going to mention. You do get a lot of extra skin. I haven’t lost enough yet (just 10lb!) but if I lose that other 50 I’d like to… nice!
December 3rd, 2007 at 4:15 pm
I’m 42 now and still don’t see it happening. I mean I have my vain moments, but in all honesty, I’ve also looked at my female relatives and I think I got lucky with the gene pool.
I do what I can to take care of what I’ve got, but surgery solely for the sake of vanity really doesn’t sit well with me on a personal level so I doubt it’ll ever happen.
December 3rd, 2007 at 4:26 pm
I’ve lost 30 lbs. and hope to keep going, so I know there’ll be a tuck somewhere in my future. Lasik I’d like. But as far as anything else? Nope. My hair isn’t grey, but rather silver, which I think is pretty, so I’m not changing that.
December 3rd, 2007 at 7:20 pm
The minute I’m done having and nursing kids - the MINUTE - sign me up for a breast reduction and tummy tuck.
I watch every plastic surgery tv show out there. I’m completely desensitized. Bring it on.
December 3rd, 2007 at 7:25 pm
I have a face-lift fund already.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:47 am
I’m with Amie. I’ve had 3 c-sections. Those do nothing for a firm abdomen! You can only cut a muscle so many times. I’d love a tummy tuck and a breast lift. Nothing added, just relocate what I’ve got. They could take a little off, too.
That said, the thought of Lasik to correct my vision just creeps the bejeezus out of me!
December 4th, 2007 at 12:51 am
Samantha, I’m mostly with you on that.
Bailey, good job on the 30lbs!
Julie,
you crack me up!
Lillian, I expected you to say that! And then we’ll throw you a face lift party!
Lynn, I have to wonder about Lasik. My friend has it and already (two years?) her vision isn’t as good as it was after getting it.
December 4th, 2007 at 10:39 am
I had lasik about four years ago. My only regret was waiting so long. Everyone should get lasik. I was in my 40’s. I was very nearsighted with a stigmatism. I have better than 20/20 vision. I love it.
I had my broken nose fixed at age 30. After fifteen years of a seriously twisted nose and an inability to breathe through it, I now have a slightly crooked nose and the ability to breathe.
I don’t consider either surgery a vanity option. Both corrected defects.
I am not interested in face lifts and injections. I think that they look creepy. Look at what poor Heather Locklear has done to her lovely face. But honestly I hate my saggy jowl. If I had the money, I might do thermage and frazel laser. The results won’t make me look decades younger but it would refreshen and rejuvenate this old skin.
December 4th, 2007 at 11:09 am
like Phyllis, I had a friend who was basically legally blind (couldn’t even get out of bed without her glasses). She says Lasik is the best thing she’s ever done and frankly, I’d LOVE to have it done because I”m HORRIBLY nearsighted. Maybe if I can sell those futuristics
December 4th, 2007 at 11:56 am
I can’t afford Lasic but it is good to know it can be done even with astigmatis, not sure how to spell that . As for boobs,I got plenty up there and my man likes it so I can’t do anything to deny him what he loves, hee hee.
December 4th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Uh-ah. Not me. If I’m sick someone has to drag me to a doctor. I hate needles and all other associated stuff. Just call me cowardly custard. The only way I’d agree to have plastic surgery is if I were in an accident of some sort. I guess I’ll just go around frightening little kids when I get older.
December 4th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Okay, maybe I will get Lasik… when I can afford it! LOL.
Shelley, I used to be terrified of needles. Then became a medical assistant where we practiced on each other in class. Ooh, got over that fear SO fast!