I have to admit something right now: I’ve been cooking for three hours. Oh, and drinking. See, I have this ritual. When I make Thanksgiving dinner I make myself a cocktail while I cook. I also prepare all the dishes the night before, which means I wake up on Turkey Morning needing a few doses of Advil. Scary Carrie and her family are coming, our friend from SF, a few other strays. Lots of people, lots of food. Actually, I’m doing better than usual because I actually delegated a few dishes this year. Normally I’m such a control freak I insist on doing it all myself, ‘cause you know, I think I can do it all and do it better than anyone else. (I do make the best stuffing ever. And mashed potatoes. And cranberries. And popovers. Anyway…)

Okay, so I’m not going to post Dick in a Box because I know you will all see this particular video a million times between now and Christmas, but it has special meaning to me today because I’m so thankful for it. You see, sometimes I and Karen will be instant messaging each other, and then she’ll be like, “Hey! Let’s watch Dick in a Box!” and I’ll be like, “Okay!” and then we’ll get on Youtube, load the video, and IM: “1, 2, 3, Go!” and then we watch the video together. And we make really witty comments like, “He hehe. I love when they dance or, I’m so getting off right now!” Good clean fun, that’s what it is.

So. I am thankful for food, vodka tonics, and my NAS gals because they appreciate the silliness of life.

Mahalo. 1. Thanks, gratitude; to thank.

I have so much to be thankful for! A wonderful husband, three great kids, a supportive family, and awesome friends! Really life couldn’t get much better than what I have.

That’s why I shouldn’t be thankful only during this time of year for what I have. I take it all for granted during the daily grind, and of course half the time the ones I’m thankful for drive me up the freaking wall. I mean, let’s be honest. My kids make me wanna pull my hair out, my husband makes me want to smack him upside the head. My friends, well, I really have no beef there cos I go to them to complain about all of my problems and hey, they actually listen to me! And can sympathize!

(more…)

I’m going to do something I rarely do. I’m going to share some rather personal stuff (And I hope in return ya’ll will share what you’re thankful for or maybe something important you’ve learned this year).  And for what it’s worth, I’m not saying this so you’ll tell me how wonderful I am (I already know ). I say this so that if there is one person out there who thinks they can’t change their life, maybe they’ll think again.

I want to start by saying that I Am So Blessed!

This has been a hard year health-wise but I have good friends online who have stood by me and prayed and sent me positive energy, and I have good friends offline who have gone above and beyond the call of duty for me…something I haven’t experienced in a really long time. Good friends are hard to come by.

I’ll admit, when it comes to the holidays I’m a bit of a scrooge. I still remember the years after I left the ex when there would have been no Christmas for my children but for the kindness of strangers (and a Christmas tree that came out of a friend’s dumpster), and I’m sure that’s why…I was a college student, and a welfare mom–I made 7.50 an hour working at the kid’s daycare and even with a discount still had to cough up 160.00 a week for care for two kids. I ended up dropping out of college and ended up falling into the most amazing job working for a writer, which is what gave me the impetus to start writing myself. But there were still some pretty tough times–two years with no child support, battling depression, the shitty apartment, the repossessed car, borrowing money from the folks, the welfare office (and I had the most AWFUL caseworker).

It’s been twelve years since I left the ex (best thing I EVAH did), and I have to tell you it’s been an amazing twelve years! (more…)

Since this week is all about Thanksgiving (or here in America it is!) I thought I’d share what I, Shelli Stevens, am thankful for. It’s a bit on the silly side, so bear with me.

The boyfriends thing
(names are withheld to protect the innocent…)

• The man I dated when I was young and ignorant, who tried to be gentle when he told me all about how some girls ‘trim down there’.
• The guy in England I dated way back when, who gave me the opportunity to travel around England and see some of Ireland. Who is now my source for how my character, the Geordie Sebastian (in the Heiress book) talks.
• For my ex-boyfriend for giving me the most adorable daughter and a few token orgasms.

The family thing…

• For my family who is so supportive of me and my daughter.
• For my daughter’s half sister and her mother. Who are so important to us and who we love dearly!

The Friends thing…

• Friends who’ll read my book in a rush to assure me it doesn’t suck, when they know I’m flipping out because I’m about to send it out.
• For my amigas at Naughty and Spice who are all about keeping it real. Or really offensive.
• Friends who workout with me or spend time with me outside the box (computer).

The Luxuries

• For the Body Shop’s NUT body butter which gives my legs and nostrils an orgasm.
• For lip gloss of all brands for giving me a shiny, wet looking, begging to be kissed mouth (I need to write commercials)
• For laptops that contribute to my ever expanding arse.
• For Dansko’s that save my pitiful, can’t-wear-heels-for-shit feet.

What are you thankful for? Pick one of my categories or so and share! (Since we’ll be thanking all week! Except for Friday when we’ll have the wonderful Susan Lyons here!!)

Short and sweet!

I’ll never forget my first kiss. I was fourteen. It was at Yosemite. I was camping there with my mother and she let me bring my best friend, Shelley. We met these guys and I developed a shy crush on one boy. His name was Lance and he was from Monrovia, CA. I was living a few miles outside San Francisco and anything L.A. seemed so cool. And I loved his name, I thought it was romantic. Lance. L-A-N-C-E. He was tall and seventeen and he gave me a beer. We all climbed onto this big tree that had fallen across the river and I sat there and waited. I kept looking up at him, wondering when he was gonna do it, and then finally. He leaned down and kissed me.

And I fell off the tree trunk and into the river.

Sputtering, I got up but it was too late. We’d been camping for five days; no hair-dryer, no black eyeliner. No matches to melt said eyeliner. When I popped back up from that sandy river I looked like shit. And Lance gave me his hand, pulled me to my feet, and smiled. Then he moved on to Shelley.

We’re not friends anymore.

So that’s my first kiss story. What’s yours?

I’m taking a cue from Feisty’s post about vulgar titles/sayings and getting hits from Google. Yes, I’m a little late writing this blog but I blame too much Sangria! I drank a little last night and um, zonked out. Had the best sleep of my life. I need Sangria in my life more often.

Anywho, I saw this photo a few days ago on TMZ. Yes I peruse the TMZ site in search of good gossip, shame on me. I came across this photo and was horrified. Horrified I say! Awful awful stuff.

Sharon Stone what in the world are you doing? Walking around in a lycra bodysuit and I can see your, um, HOO-HA! Gross! This small pic doesn’t quite do it justice. Here’s a link to a bigger pic — http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e335/kdid210/sharonstonevag-1.jpg

So yeah, that’s my blog today. Bad choice in attire, that’s all I have to say. The top of it actually looks pretty good. I can’t believe Go Fug Yourself hasn’t fugged her yet. They’re remiss in their duties!