Open Mic Spice with Maya Banks
Someone recently asked me why I don’t write M/M scenes in my ménage romances. She said you write such tender, emotional relationships in your books that I’ve always wondered why you didn’t extend it to the men in the triad (or more).
The obvious reason is that most of my ménage books feature brothers (the next few won’t though 
but I considered her question very carefully before responding.
For me, the ménage is all about the female. It’s her fantasy. She’s the focus of two or more men who love and adore her and pleasure her. All roads lead back to her. And yes, most all of my books(with one exception) are all about the poly relationship, not just a ménage scene here or there to fulfill a fantasy and the other guy fades away into obscurity while the hero and heroine live happily ever after.
Back to my point. If I focused on a M/M relationship where they pull a woman into their life (never figured out why two gay guys would suddenly desire a woman in their life but that’s another story…unless of course they’re obviously bisexual and again that’s a whole nother ballgame lol) then the woman is going to face being “left out” at some point or another. If the two men are into each other in addition to being into her, there will be times when the woman is not the focus of the relationship. How could she be when there exists this whole other relationship with complicated dynamics as well?
The other question asked: Why brothers? Isn’t that “icky?” Well, uhm, no, not unless they’re getting it on too, and all I can say is I don’t have words…
But here’s my thought. I figure if two (or more) guys are ever going to actually share a woman, I can more easily picture brothers doing it than two guys who have no history or trust. I think jealousy would play less of a role in the triad than if two random guys were expected to participate in this sort of relationship. (and no, I’m not saying there wouldn’t be issues between brothers, just that I think there would be more inherent trust)
Another question I’ve been asked is why I write contemporary ménage relationship stories, as in there is no paranormal, no built in societal reasons where a poly relationship would be “normal.”
Short answer? Because I want to. *g*
Longer answer? Because I don’t like what I call the “inevitable ménage” in that there is some underlying reason why the characters MUST bond sexually or have a hot ménage either to stop evil, save the world or because it’s what’s expected in their society. Those are fun to read. I love em. I just don’t write them.
I want to write about characters who choose their circumstances, who own their choices, even as hard as they might be to make. And I want to do it in a real world setting because to me (personally) that makes the fantasy more powerful.
Am I preaching that readers can expect to see this sort of relationship in everyday life? Uhm no. (and if you’re reading one of my books saying omg this would never happen, you’re sooo missing the point lol). It’s there. Just not prevalent. At the end of the day, I’m still just writing erotic fantasy. No apologies. No excuses.
October 26th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Hi Maya,
Thanks for coming out and telling us about why you write. I understand completely about the fantasy. That’s what books are all about. They take us out of the every day and into a world where we can be anything, do anything. And why you write them? I can relate to that, it’s just what flows. It’s great to get a published authors perspective on her own writing, I love it when I read a book and then I find out some thing about the author. Now I know some thing about the author I’ll have to read one of your books.
Thanks for talking today.
Rachel.C
P.S. I haven’t read any of your work but I’ll be adding you to my to buy list for November. Don’t you just hate having a book budget?
October 26th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Ok so I have been newly “subjected” if you will
to erotic novels in general. But let’s just say what I have read so far I absolutely LOVE! I have read some contemporary, historical, & 1 or 2 paranormal. I’m trying to think back, I don’t think I’ve read a menage yet but am definetly interested in going down that path. 
Actually the other night I was looking at some ebooks to buy & Colters’ Woman was one of the excerpts I read & thought was quite good. Actually I think most of Maya’s books were in my cart 
I think when it comes to reading it’s all about escape so the more the merrier!! Bring it on! 
October 26th, 2007 at 11:35 am
I actually don’t care for a book with m/m in the menage. That’s totally separate genres for me. And I agree, it’s all about the woman.
What do I like in a menage (which I just realized I spelled menage wrong in all my emails to promo this. It’s probably because I don’t write them and thus never use the word!
) I really am more of a fan for the walk on side guy, who then disappears again. Not sure why, I think I just can’t get past the one hero one heroine part. But that’s just me and I know I’m bizarre!
October 26th, 2007 at 11:40 am
I just read MENAGE by Emma Holly. I’ve read a few menage tales before, but this is by far the best of the lot. By far. And it’s a total fantasy. I mean, older women with two hot, bi, young studs. If you can really suspend disbelief to get into the fantasy of one woman being served by two men, then this is an awesome book.
I think my problem with some others is that the author tries too hard to make it “believable.” Umm, no. Not gonna happen. I’m not wired that way, to genuinely understand a menage relationship IRL. So just let me have the fantasy!
October 26th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Rachel, thanks for coming by. I do hope you enjoy the books! (I like being people’s to buy list) heh
Jo, I read widely across the board in erotic as well as other genres. My only requirement is give me a good story! I’m sooo easy to please. But piss me off and I carry a grudge forever
Shelli, you’re not alone. I know of a lot of readers who prefer the “romance” to be between one guy and one girl (Why am I hearing the ole political string in my ear “Marriage is between one woman and one man” lololol) ahem, anyway, you’re not bizarre. I’d say you’re quite normal and that I’m probably the bizarre one hehe. My problem is, I write emotional relationships where hot sex is a benefit but not the focus in its entirety, so it’s HARD for me once my characters make that deep, emotional connection to have one just walk away. Overheard was my one exception and it was because Gracie was all about wanting that fantasy fulfilled. She wasn’t looking for a poly relationship. She wanted some hot, sweaty monkey sex with two hot guys and me, I’m saying go girl! But in the end, the romance was strictly between her and Luke.
Sela, I’d say it’s a fine line and one that is sometime difficult to balance. I make no excuses that what I write is definitely fantasy. I don’t expect for anyone to read my books and think oh she’s trying to convince me that this is gonna happen IRL? BUT at the same time, I don’t want it to be so far flung that the reader never even stops to think…what if? For me that’s the hook. I want to be able to stop and think mmmm what if? I don’t want to read through it knowing that it’s so “out there” that I don’t ever have to stop and ponder or even imagine it.
I want it to be a delicious fantasy, no doubt, but I want to lend just enough realism that a reader will stop and pause and ponder the possibilities.
October 26th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
I think I just can’t get past the one hero one heroine part.
Weenie. YOu can’t get past getting your nose pierced either
October 26th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Ha Amie you’re funny.
I want to say
Maya and thanks for blogging with us today! I’m going to be honest, I’ve never been a big fan of menages but I’ve read some recently that made me change my mind. Including Jaci Burton’s Wild Wicked & Wanton and For Her Pleasure. 
In fact, I’m having my first menage book come out in Nov but it’s of the “bring this guy in, have a little fun, kick his butt out of bed” variety. I don’t think I could write a book with an actual menage relationship only cos I don’t think I could do it justice.
You do a great job.
And I also prefer my menage books to have no m/m - like Shelli said, that’s a whole different genre.
Great topic!
October 26th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
Weenie. YOu can’t get past getting your nose pierced either rasta
You’re so right! LOL I AM a weenie. I try so hard to be wild and bad, and I’m so damn vanilla! (see the post from Monday)
Maya, I think I MUST be bizarre though, because triad’s sell SO well. People love the threesome HEA.
I read an EC book (really can’t remember the name or author) that had a futuristic threesome, where they were stranded on some planet and all went at it. And I quite enjoyed that. LOL.
I’m considering writing a triad, futuristic/fantasy, and that would change my outlook on it considerably I bet.
October 26th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Maya, I’ve read all your stories, menage or not, and I love them. I like both, if they are well done. I’ve read some that had M/M action and enjoyed them, and I’ve also read those without M/M action that were wonderful. I lean toward the ones without M/M action, I think, possibly for the same reasons you mention. I mean, if it’s gonna be my fantasy, I want it to be MY fantasy, one woman with two men focused on her. And I think the reason I like your stories so well is because, unlike some of the stories out there, you really let the emotional ties show. You make sure the emotions of the people involved are right up there at the top of the relationship, and I love that. More, more, more!!!
October 26th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I have read a couple of m/m/f books (with m/m action), including Menage by Emma Holly (which was really, really good), but I totally agree with you, Maya. When I read those books, I start to feel…hmm…how to express it? A little jealous for the woman, maybe? Like I’m worried the guys are going to drive off into the sunset with the woman trailing meekly behind. It doesn’t happen like that in Menage, but I have to say that at times in that book, I did worry about it. There also seems to always be one guy that is more “gay” than the other one, and there’s this whole dynamic of him wanting the other guy, feeling slightly resentful of the woman, etc. And that makes me a little uncomfortable (not uncomfortable enough to stop reading them and enjoying them, but uncomfortable enough for me to prefer the m/f/m menages with no m/m action).
The upshot–I agree!
And I love the fantasy centering around the woman in the story. Yum.
October 26th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Hi Maya,
I have to say that I am pretty much in line with your posting. While it is not a favorite genre, I do enjoy a really well written menage but I don’t like the random encounters. If it is a triad (part of what is/will be a stable relationship), okay, but I absolutely hate when the menage is just a bump on the road to whatever. So many of the genre lately are just about 2 people who invite someone into their bed for a while then kick him/her out that I’ve become extremely picky about what I buy. It took me a long time to buy and read Colters’ Woman because I’ve been burned so many times with Menages but I was very pleased when I finished–loved it!
I’ve also noticed that more and more books are M/M or M/M/F. I’m not a fan of M/M. I have read some, and it’s okay but I prefer to avoid it in my reading :-)and like you said, why on earth would a woman hook up with two gay/bi guys already in a permanent relationship–she’d always be the outsider.
October 26th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Karen, I’m SO glad you liked For Her Pleasure
Shelli, part of the reason I wrote what I call the “committed” menages was that when I was reading menage stories way back when, I wasn’t finding any that focused on the relationship. One of the guys was usually sent on his way to find love with another heroine and it left me vaguely disatisfied. Not to say there weren’t any out there, but I wasn’t finding them, so I wrote my own.
Georgia, I heart you
You totally made my day. So glad you’ve enjoyed my books. I really do love and try to focus on the emotional angle but readers will go away from my books with their own judgments as to whether I’ve successfully pulled it off.
And Dawn, yep, I agree. If I’m gonna indulge in fantasy then I’m going to full nine yards lol.
October 26th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Ellen, whew! you had me worried lol. So glad you enjoyed Colters’ Woman. That sort of book always inspires a rather wide range of response
Readers tend to either really like it or they really, REALLY hate it.
I do remember reading one menage where there was m/m and the male relationship was already established and they were bringing in the woman, and it really worked for me (Im struggling to remember the name) because there was such an emotional friendship to begin with between the three people involved. But again, I think it worked for me because there was a focus on that friendship, trust and mutual love between all parties. I never got the sense that the woman was or would be left out. (Persuading Jo? Maybe that was it?) My apologies if I got the wrong title, but that’s what’s hitting me at the moment and I’m too lazy to go look lol
October 26th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
one woman with two men focused on her.
Why be the veggies on the side when you can be the entree!
October 26th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
I haven’t read a lot of ménage. The last one I read was Decadent by Shayla Black. It was really good. As long as they have strong feelings for the woman I like it. I haven’t read any of your books yet, but they sound good.
October 26th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Especially green veggies.
Maya who has a phobia about green things….
October 26th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
I’m working on my first menage romance. But it’s a m/f/f one.
Personallly, m/m action doesn’t do a thing for me. I’m probably the straightest guy on the planet. And, to be honest, I don’t generally like my gender. Testosterone addled jackasses for the most part.
There are some exceptions but guys I like are a rare thing.
I do agree that the woman should be the focus. It’s just in the case of my story the focus shifts between the two women. Neither is a ’side dish’.
Plus, I am a guy. And having two women in bed with me to tease and please is one of my fantasies.
October 26th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Rob, see now this is where my utter selfish, bitchy cattiness comes out meow! lololol
m/f/f while understandably a guy fantasy SO doesn’t do it for me. Becuase I know women. They don’t share. For the most part, women don’t even LIKE other women.
Hypocrite I am, yes I am, because while I’m perfectly willing to indulge in the whole two men and one woman where she’s the focus, the heart, the center of the universe, turn that around and have me having to share my man with another woman?? The fur would fly and not in a pretty way lolololol.
I can actually buy that two guys might be more willing to amicably share a woman than two women sharing a man, because well, men aren’t quite the emotional creatures that women are. Not to make any sweeping generalizations, but in my mind, I can “believe” more readily that two men would better handle the group dynamics than two women would.
Hell, ever work in an office full of women? Hell is precisely the way I’d describe it…
Aren’t I such a mean, vicious hypocrite?
October 26th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Hell, ever work in an office full of women? Hell is precisely the way I’d describe it…
Try working as a hairdresser….crazy women with scissors and frankly hairdressers are crazy anyway!
(I was one tyvm)
and I know I’m going against the grain here but while MFM is a GREAT fantasy (i’ve even written a short about it), I’m not sure I could write a book about it (so hats off to you sug). As fantasies go I prefer FFM. It’s also what I’ve written. Not sure I’ll do it again–it’d take one hell of a storyline for me to dot aht. And frankly you’re right Maya. Beyond sex, I just don’t see two women sharing a man. Cuz we’re evil!
October 26th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
October 26th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Hi Maya, I love your menage storylines, and have read all your books so far, except for For Her Pleasure. The trust issue is a huge one, and with the men as brother’s there is a built in trust and love that works so well with the woman as their total focus. You have greatly enriched my fantasy life, woman, and I thank you.
October 26th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
To be human is to be a hypocrite, Maya. Or is it the other way around?
I’m of the opinion that most guys wouldn’t share either. We’re generally highly territorial creatures with easily damaged egos.
But in my story, the women are very happily bi. Well one is, the second discovers she is over the course of the story. I’m just working on the part where they get it on, without the guy around. Which kinda alleviates the whole jealousy thing.
Whether it would work that way in real life, I have no idea.
Real life and I only have a nodding acquaintance anyway.
October 26th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
I have read several menage stories and I cannot see the point of view from anyone but the female.
I just ordered Colters Woman from Amazon, so would like to win For Her Pleasure.
October 26th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
I like mfm but I also like ffm. That’s my preferred menage because I like sex and romance between women as well as between women and men. Although I’ve read mm work and liked it, it does less for me for the reasons you’ve said Maya, the woman is not the focus. Can’t agree with you about women not sharing men, or not liking each other much. Not been my experience. I think a good ffm is not about sharing men, it’s more about having a deep sexual and romantic relationship with each other as well as the man. If the focus is on them sharing the man and not on loving each other as well the man, it’s not very satisfying.
October 26th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
I like both your styles of writing. I have read Seducing Simon which was excellent and I have read Colters’ Woman which was also excellent. One has traditional sex and the other is menage and yet I really enjoyed them both. With your great writing style you can use either type of storyline and I know I am in for a great read. Just got Brazen which I have not read yet but I am sure I will enjoy it as well.
October 26th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
I have read most of your books. Love them all! I do read quite a few menage books and prefer m/f/m. Your books are some of my favorites because it is about the romance - not just sex.
Looking forward to reading more of your books!
October 26th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
I LOVED Brazen. If you haven’t read it you should! Brazen was my first menage story and it was better than I could have ever hoped for.
I would like to read about Colters’ Woman. 
October 26th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
I enjoy reading menage stories. I agree with you about the m/m, it just doesn’t interest me. I’ve read Colter’s Woman & Brazen & both were very enjoyable.
October 26th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
I have never read menage… and I don’t know if I ever will!
October 26th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
I’ve never read menage. Two men? Good grief, I have enough to do putting up with the one I’m married to. But, you guys have intrigued me now. I can’t figure out the fascination with m/m, just sounds icky imo. I want it to be all about me (aka the heroine)
October 27th, 2007 at 1:38 am
October 27th, 2007 at 2:31 am
I’ve enjoyed several menage stories by Bianca D’Arc, Emma Holly and I loved your Seducing Simon. I prefer m/m/f to concentrate on the female, though I have tried a few m/m books when I was intrigued by the story line. The ones I enjoyed emphasized the love and relationship with the sex scenes more a natural expression of the love between the characters (which I prefer in traditional m/f stories as well). I would love to read Brazen.
October 27th, 2007 at 6:10 am
Hey Maya,
It’s great seeing you here. I don’t like to read M/M. Must have a female in it for me to read. It’s a total turn off for me. I noticed alot of readers do like M/M it’s just not for me.
If I win I would love to win a print copy of The Perfect Gift.
Hugssss
LindaH
October 27th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Hi Maya,
I just wanted to say I read BRAZEN and really enjoyed it. Very well done. If I ever found two brothers like Zane and Seth I’d want them both as well.
Just wondering too, will JT get a story? (or does he have one and I’ve just missed it?”)
October 27th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
The menage is a fascinating dynamic, but especially when set in modern day instead of a fantasy/sci-fi setting. And you do it so well.
I love Colters’ Woman. :-)
October 27th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Thanks for coming and visiting you guys. I’ve been out with the brood for the youth hunt this morning along with my coughing, runny nose, chills and fever oy!
Sasha, I’m pondering J.T.
I had a little fun inserting a little wee hint in the book when Seth makes a comment that he’s had threesomes with someone other than Zane. I think most people overlooked it but i got a few emails demanding to know if J.T. was that “other person” and if he was going to get his own story 
I’m so glad you liked it!
and smooch, NJ. I think I love everything you’ve ever written lol
October 27th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Laura, other than the short story follow up to Colters’ Woman available on my website, I don’t have any immediate plans to do a full blown sequel. I wrote Colters’ Wife on a whim (as I do a lot of things lol) so you never know what will go up on my site as a free read. I’m contracted up the wazoo so there’s definitely nothing in the immediate future as far as a publisher released sequel
October 27th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Cherie, that is such a wonderful compliment and I sincerely appreciate it. Truly.
I try very hard no matter what genre to make the emotional relationships between the characters front and center in the story whether there is lots of scorch the sheets sex or not a single sex scene in sight (and yes, I have a few of those
)
October 27th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
Hi Maya,
I have read colters’ woman and seducing simon, and for your pleasure, and ebook brazen, and I love them all! I can’t wait for your next book and keep those menages coming!
October 27th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
I’ve read brazen and seducing simon and loved them. I have another of your is my tbr pile but I would love to read Colter’s woman.
October 27th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
Hi Maya!
I’ve actually never read any books that have ménage in them..so I’m a virgin in that sense, lol! But after reading your post, I’ll definitely go check out your books!
October 28th, 2007 at 10:20 am
I have read Brazen and Seducing Simon and loved them. I would love to read Only For Her Pleasure. :)
October 28th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
Beth #32 and Jo #2, if you’re reading, drop me an email and let me know your choices. Beth, you mentioned that you’d like to read Brazen, so let me know what ebook format you’d like for that one and I’ll send it over.
maya@mayabanks.com
And thanks to everyone for dropping by to dish. Love good conversation