Most Embarassing Moments
So I’m doing a reading in San Francisco this weekend. You can check out the details on my blog. Anyway, I am deathly afraid to speak in public. I hate it. For some reason lots of people find this hard to believe, but I assure you it’s true. But, as I mentioned on my blog on Wednesday, I have a plan: I’m going to do something really embarrassing that day to get the nervousness out of my system. And the thing is, I really won’t have to try all that hard. I tend to humiliate myself quite a bit. Here are a few examples:
Once I walked across the San Jose State campus with my skirt tucked into the back of the waistband of my tights.
Once I walked through the first class cabin on an international flight with TP sticking out of my pants. The thing is, I didn’t notice until I went to the bathroom a second time, which means I walked through the cabin twice with the TP trailing behind me.
Once I was walking to my car with a cute guy after class at San Francisco State and I totally bit it. Like, bloody palms, ripped jeans, twisted heel plummet. In fact, I was so mortified I dropped that French class and never went back.
Actually, I fall all the time. I mean ALL the time. A few weeks ago I was in LA having dinner with Eden, Jax, Ellenie and Dana. I went to sit down but I had forgotten that my chair had been moved back on account of the fact that I had gotten out of it to dance on a table. So when I went to sit down I bit the dust. Dana was very concerned, but Eden knows me well enough by now to just offer her hand and haul me back to my feet.
Anyway, I think you get the picture. I’m constantly embarrassing myself. Now that I’ve told you a few of mine, tell me yours. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
October 24th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Walking into walls, bumping my head (this is a feat, I’m 5′2), tripping, I do it all.
At least I have the sense to wear pants all the time though.
Girl, I don’t know how you do that in a skirt.
October 24th, 2007 at 10:53 pm
I went to that school anyway.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
I was concerned! If you’d passed out there were NO cute guys to give you live-saving CPR!
(and by the way, I embarass myself so often I’d totally forgotten about you and the chair in LA. LOL).
I tend to walk into poles, trip over things and spill beverages on myself.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Diving into a pool and losing my bikini bottoms…
October 25th, 2007 at 12:15 am
Well, Gwyn just old me about flip-shit or something. I think I do that a lot.
Jennifer, that is horribly funny. Seriously! I did puke once during a blow-job, though. That was embarassing.
Dana, you’re right. There were no cute guys to do that. Thank you for your concern.
Sabrina, details please.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:40 am
Umm I replied to the wrong email once. I thought I was replying to my friend and telling her about how my boyfriend at the time might get shipped out to Iraq, and I was cussing and acting like my world was coming to an end.
Yeah I didn’t send it to my friend. I replied to the wrong email. I sent it to my local RWA chapter. That was like when I was still fairly new, too. Kind of sucked.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:00 am
Well, I’m another of the klutz brigade, I’m sorry to say. Before I left the IT world, I was a Senior Systems Analyst for a large multinational corporation, and my husband used to say his poor wife could make computers dance and talk to each other all over the world, but she couldn’t walk through a room without tripping - so true.
Two most embarrassing moments - one time at the corporation where I used to work, I was at one of our largest plants doing a presentation, and afterwards I accompanied one of the corporate directors and the area director of IBM, who was going to do the work, to lunch while we were discussing a new computer upgrade program I was putting in motion for about 4 of the engineering plants. As we walked across the parking lot between buildings toward the cafeteria, the director pointed at the ground and said to watch out for that dip in the pavement. I looked down, tripped, and fell flat of my face on the concrete, tore both knees out of my suit pants (thank goodness I’d long ago given up wearing skirts to work), bloody knees and palms, bloody lip where I bit it when I fell, the whole bit. But it could have been worse - I could have torn the seat out of the pants instead of the knees.
But by far the worst, most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me - had a very sexy and suggestive email I was forwarding to my husband, one of those you don’t even forward to friends with pictures and everything, and I sent it to my father in law, an extremely conservative Christian fellow in his 80s - my hubby is a junior, and I clicked on Senior by accident. I’m so glad father in law no longer does email or I’m sure it would have happened again by now. And thank goodness he has a sense of humor and loves me anyway.
October 25th, 2007 at 4:46 am
I had a coughing fit once during school assembly. I just could not stop and everyone was staring. Color me red.
Have fun at the signing. You’ll get through!!
October 25th, 2007 at 6:02 am
You puked while giving head? You’re lucky it was a guy. That’d give a woman a major complex.
No one was around to see my most embarrassing moment (so I have to tell everyone
). It was during the baby years… the 7-year period during which I was either pregnant or nursing… and I was essentially a shut-in. Couldn’t get out to a real store, so I did a lot of catalog shopping. Phoned in an order one afternoon and told the JCPenney operator: “Love you. Bye.” I’d hung up before I realized what I’d said. She is probably STILL laughing about it.
October 25th, 2007 at 8:47 am
Most embarrassing moment?
In high school after gym class. I had just finished getting undressed for the shower and was headed across the change room.
Gym teacher comes in, tells us, “Hit the showers, maggots!” (I think he was in the Army as a drill instructor before he became a teacher) and then leaves through another door, slamming it open with a loud ‘Wham!’
Every girl in the gym turns to look to see me standing naked in the middle of the change room.
October 25th, 2007 at 9:54 am
I have intentionally blocked all embarrassing moments from my memory.
October 25th, 2007 at 10:24 am
I’m sure there have been many but I’ve blocked them all out
October 25th, 2007 at 10:42 am
OMG I just remembered one. I married the ex
October 25th, 2007 at 11:00 am
OMG, these are awesome! Makes me feel so much better.
Alessia, when you mentioned the baby years it made me think of something else. The first time I left the house to go to dinner after the baby was born we went to the local French place. We were in the lounge (the baby was in his with us in his little sesat) and I was talking to some woman. She leans over and whispers, “Dear, you might want to change your sirt.” About a gallon of breastmilk had leaked out of my nursing bra and I had two huge wet spots on my shirt.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
I’m like Mel-I block. BUT I can;t walk through a room without slamming my shoulder on a doorway. I make a fool of myself often. *g*
But you know what? I think it’s a gift. it makes me humble, and when someone else does something stupid, I can help them instead of letting them be stared down as the only freak.
Like I tell me kids, “We all fart. Even kings and queens.”
October 25th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
I’m pretty good at embarrassing myself. I’m a faller. A few years ago I was at the gym, taking an aerobic-type bootcamp class. We were sprinting, and I fell, slid across the floor and broke my arm (the humerus bone). So not only did I injure myself in front of this 40-person co-ed class, the ambulance came (it was a very bad break)and wheeled me out and just about everyone in the gym saw me writhing in pain.
I also puked all over the streets of Paris, right by the Sacre Coeur Basilica. And then on the commuter train. I think it was food poisoning.
October 25th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
LMAO Amie. HEHE! Okay this one isn’t mine but it is my best friends. When we were about 12 or 13 our families had a party and one of my cousin’s brought along some of his friends. My best friend asked them if they had any cassettes and they thought she has said, “Do you want to have sex?” Needless to say they all said yes. Bwhahahaa! I love reminded her of that.
October 25th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I was working at a record store during the college years. Behind the counter, I was dancing to the music. I was doing the pogo and I pogo right out of my tube top. Quickly I stopped and pulled it in place. I looked up to see whether my accident was seen by anyone. Of course, standing right in front of me was a couple ready to make a purchase. The guy’s face was priceless. He had a deer in the headlight stare, obviously afraid that his girlfriend was going to kill him for seeing my breasts. His girlfriend and I made eye contact and burst out laughing. You could see his relief.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
There are so many embarrassing things I’ve done I can’t even think of them all.
Wait I remember one. I was carrying a bunch of empty boxes down the stairs at my work and I slipped somehow and fell, tumbled all the way down the stairs, as did the boxes. I made so much noise that four guys immediately ran to the bottom of the stairs to see what happened. I looked up, saw them all staring at me and my skirt was practically hiked up around my hips. Gawd! That was so embarrassing.
Ugh.
October 25th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Well, I was doing the can-can in a grade 11 variety show, first one out kicking my heels and flipping my skirt. Turn, flip the skirt up and bend in a cheeky way towards the audience. Wait there till the other two can-can-ers join me. The audience laughs hysterically. I’m thinking, well, it’s cute but not THAT funny. Then I look down at my sleeve. No bodysuit. Just my underwear for all to see. Whatchya gonna do?
Then, I was temping at a chartered accountants firm. Answering phones. ‘Can you hold please?’ ‘Can I help you?’
Got a little busy and answered, ‘Schwartz Levitsky Feldman, can I hold you?’
October 25th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
Oooh! I remember another one! The time I fell down the well and someone (they know who they) are wouldn’t help me.
Or the time we (they know who they are) were staggering back to our rooms and I kicked off my shoe and it like hit a light and they took off and left me there.
October 26th, 2007 at 10:52 am
As a high school student, my skirt was tucked up under my backpack, exposing my nylon-clad butt to the world. My best guy friends walked behind me on my way to class–partially to block the sight from others, and partially to laugh hysterically until they decided to tell me.
Then–also high school–I was home alone and forgot I had something cooking in the kitchen. The entire front end of my parents’ house filled with burnt-animal-scented smoke. Set off all the detectors. There was an oily film on the cupboards. And as I was desperately trying to clean it up before my parents returned (futile effort, that) the boy I had a crush on showed up. I believe his exact words were, “God. What did you do? Torch a whole cow?”