Oh the horror! The pain…
…and that wasn’t just my Prom.
So everywhere I look lately people seem to be talking about High School and how God awful it was. On the Samhain Cafe loop there was a big discussion about it. My brother just brought it up last night; he’d just had his twenty year reunion and had no desire to go.
My ten year was a couple years back and let me tell you how relieved I was to be going to Deb Dixon’s GMC workshop the day of the reunion (couldn’t have even planned that one!) But I know not everyone had an experience that left a bad taste in their mouth. And when I really think about it, did I? I have to say…no, I don’t think so.
You see I was totally oblivious to fashion and trends–and I didn’t care. Seriously, me in high school…picture this: hair like Krusty the Clown and an outfit with an Indian head t-shirt over stretch pants. I was not a pretty picture. In fact with make up on I kind of looked like Mrs. Doubtfire (Swear to God and I’m not sharing pics) Now this could have caused me all kinds of emotional angst and drama. But it didn’t. I was totally content being an awkward looking choir/drama geek. I had a lot of friends in my circle, and I was happy.
I’ve look at how I’ve evolved since then and I sometimes shake my head at the girl I used to be. I gradually gained fashion sense by college friends who took pity on me. I stopped hacking off my hair into the Krusty cut. And I just became more…aware. But you know, I think I also lost some of the innocence I had back then (in more than one way!) I started to care what people thought of me. Which is exactly what I avoided back then.
My thoughts turn to my daughter. I think about how she’s going to go to high school some day (a looong way off) and I’m curious. What will her experience be like? Will she be popular and trendy? Possibly since I’ve created a little fashionista to counteract my God awful clothing choices back then. Or would she be better off being the biggest, happiest, oblivious dork around?
So what are your thoughts on high school? Did you love it? Hate it? And if you have kids who are in it now or have gone through it, are/were they following the same path you took (popular/geek/other).
September 17th, 2007 at 1:35 am
God, High school. :D Only 3 years ago. Actually, I had a pretty awesome in HS, what with the sports I did. Although, if there’s one thing I regret…it’s not going to prom. =_= Like the geek I was/am, I was embroiled in a Magic:The Gathering that was supposed to end at 6 but ended up running ’til 11. Pooey. I didn’t even win the stupid thing.
Oh well. At least, the guy who was supposed to be my prom date was there with me. XD
September 17th, 2007 at 1:37 am
Ah see that’s sweet. Prom was SO overrated. Actually quite a few of those big hyped events were.
September 17th, 2007 at 1:57 am
There is not enough money in the world to make me relive my high school years. Just remembering how important it was for the right boy to notice me (he never did) or having a date for the prom (didn’t get that either), fitting in with your group of friends etc makes me wince in agony. My home life was the pits during those years also, which didn’t help things (my mom died when I was 16 after a long illness).
I’ve now got 2 kids in high school, my daughter reminds me so much of myself I could scream. My son has been told more than once that he looks like Napoleon Dynamite, but he uses his curly hair to his advantage (chicks love it, Mom). I just hope they can finish school out with a fraction of the angst I went through, but I’m not holding my breath.
September 17th, 2007 at 2:03 am
I remember a lot of angst while living it, but a few short years later, I realized it wasn’t so bad. I had a lot of friends in varied groups, mostly the “clicky” ones…but then I decided that even though I didn’t do drugs,I preferred my stoner friends. They were less judgmental.
Also, I remember thinking I was fat. I was the opposite of fat in high school. Now maybe…but then not so much so.
I have my 20 year next summer. I am sort of hoping they plan it for the same weekend as nationals, but I am sure I will get stuck on a commitee and they won’t. *sigh* Actually, everyone is so much nicer than they were in high school.
September 17th, 2007 at 5:53 am
I had a charmed existence in high school. I fussed WAY too much with my looks and I allowed myself to be influenced a bit too much by the expectations of others, but beyond that I was golden. I can see the seeds of the person I’ve become underneath all the things that were most important to a teen.
I’m not sure what I wish for my kids, though, when they reach high school. Sometimes, I think the crucible is character-building.
Others, I want them to avoid any form of difficulty.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:46 am
Stephen King wrote in ‘Danse Macabre’ that high school is the most caste ridden society with the possible exception of Hindu India.
And I was an untouchable. A popular past time was beating the crap out of me. No girl who ever wanted to have a social life would speak to me. It was an unending story of pain and loneliness.
Which I ended by quitting as soon as I could.
Not that that’s surprising. High school is a highly conformist society and I don’t conform very well.
I haven’t seen any of my former classmates since I left and I have no desire to.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:49 am
Ah, high school. I like the first one I went to… and one time, at band camp… Yes. I was in band then. I was really innocent but I did get my first kiss before 11th grade so…maybe not as innocent as some. Pressure was building and I remember being releived when my parents decided to move, as if I wanted a fresh start or something.
Second high school was pretty dumpy, city school. Lots of school spirit and stuff. Had lots of friends…I think, although I never talk to anyone now, so…
how friendly could we really have been? I went to my 10 year reunion and felt a little like an outsider. I also think I am the only one who got away. It was fun to reacquiant with them…
I won’t go to a 20, though… Unless I sell a best-selling novel and make a million. ;-)
Angst? No, just weird HS awkward sh*t.
September 17th, 2007 at 11:57 am
I actually had a great high school experience until my senior year, when my so-called “friends” decided to start excluding me from things, and to this day, I honestly don’t know why. For whatever reason, this one “popular” girl decided to start hanging out with my best friends (we weren’t in the top cliques, but we definitely weren’t dorks either…sort of your basic smart all-American girls who everyone liked, but none of us were super rich or anything, so we weren’t annointed as “cool” when we were in elementary school), but since she held this ridiculous hatred of me (and to this day, I don’t know why), she basically turned them against me. It was “her or me” and they chose her, because she was “popular.”
So dumb.
Anyhoo…I hung out with new friends senior year, but it was never the same. That aside, I still had a pretty good high school experience, looking back at it. I was friends with lots of people in lots of different cliques senior year, but ended up not being close with really any of them. I had my activities (cheerleading, theatre, dance, yearbook, honor society, student council, choir) and it kept me busy.
I was voted “Miss School Spirit.” I guess I was super involved and whatever. Come to think of it, yeah, I guess I was. I mean, I live 5 hours away, and yet I was still part of the organizing committee for the 10-yr reunion. (Yes, I went, and it was a blast, actually. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that I’m more successful than oh, probably, 99% of my class…yeah, I’m petty like that. LOL!)
September 17th, 2007 at 11:58 am
My daughter started high school this year. I don’t need to worry about her so much. She has more self confidence in her pinky toe than I have ever had. She was a little nervous, but she went to this orientation right before classes started, and she came back and said (reminiscient of “Grease”) “Me and Grace are gonna rule the school”. She is having the time of her life so far. I am so glad.
September 17th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Well, I was a teacher’s kid, so all of my teachers knew me.
And I tried really hard to break into the popular group but was always on the outside because I wasn’t a cheerleader or dating anyone popular (or at all, for that matter), and because of where I went to middle school. Even the girl who became my best friend sophomore year hated me our freshman year.
By my senior year though, I was pretty okay with my social standing in the school. At least I think I did. That was a long time and a couple of dress sizes ago.
September 17th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
Well, I’m sure no one will be surprised to hear that I got kicked out of high school. Well, three high schools. Nothing too serious except I just stopped going. I thought it was a waste of time and it was. I totally identified with all those 80’s movies like The Breakfast Club because they portrayed high school as what it was. Useless. I ended up taking my GED and going to college a year early. I was also very uncomfortable in social situations and I always felt out of place. So I just said
September 17th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Wrong! I skipped school to read romance novels, and they assumed I was out doing “bad stuff.” Well, I was in my mind. lol
I quit school because it was boring. One of the many reasons I now homeschool my kids!
September 17th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
You know, Lillian…I read this article where they were talking about whether high schools fail to serve the more advanced students and they cited some statistics that said that 20% of all high school dropouts test out in the gifted range. Basically they drop out because they’re bored…the school isn’t challenging them.
I just think that’s really sad. Why should we be sacrificing our top minds, as a nation? It just needs to be fixed.
So glad you got your GED (and went on to college), but lots of very smart kids don’t bother to do so simply because they were so damn bored in school. It’s really a shame.
September 17th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Kid/teens are so fickle. I swear. You can sneeze and offend someone, and bam, you’re frienship is over.
And I’m totally not surprised about the percentage of drop outs who are actually pretty darn smart.
September 17th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Ummm, yeah…my husband says that I was popular. Not uber popular, but everyone knew me, everyone like me. I don’t know, because I didn’t care. I was the editor of the yearbook my senior year, so I guess the “popular” kids knew if they treated me unkindly, their high school record would be the individual photo and whatever clubs they were in. No candids. Not that I ever abused that power.
I was bored in class. I read romance novels. I was the smart kid that never cracked a book. I had never studied for anything when I went to college.
As for dating, my then boyfriend, now husband and I were an item from Junior year on. He was too chicken to ask me out earlier. We had an on again off again relationship. He was my homecoming dance dates, my prom date. Although I wasn’t going to go to prom with him. He threatened the junior I was going to ask. I didn’t know that until a few years ago.
As for our reunion it was a few years ago. Actually, I am closer to my 20th than the 10th. It was great to see everyone. I was almost the “most changed.” I had a very strict upbringing. I only wore dresses, didn’t cut my hair. Our 10th, I was in jeans, short hair, smoking, cussing, drinking. If it wasn’t for one other girl’s anorexia and losing 175 pounds… Seriously, we had a blast, got trashed, and danced the night away.
September 17th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Lia, I think that’s so sweet you met your hubby in high school!
September 17th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Amanda, I knew I liked you! But seriously, I’m not surprsed at those statistics.
September 17th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
I hated High School with a fiery passion. Still do. I had to walk into one a few years back and needless to say, it was really awkward.
I wasn’t the smartest, the dumbest, the most popular. I wasn’t anything. I wasn’t even dorky enough to invisible.
It wasn’t that I was bored in school–I was scared shitless. I went to a school with major gang problems and, well, we didn’t get along. I finally got tired of having to skip school because I was being threatened so much and dropped out in 9th grade.
September 17th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Amanda, I just read that same article — in Time, I think. Anyway, that is pretty pathetic. I’m a Republican and even I know that “No child left behind” has royally fucked over all our kids. What was GW thinking?
As far as high school, I loved it. I really came into my own then, mostly because of band. Band kids rocked! Plus, I went to a very diverse high school, so there really wasn’t an “in” crowd. In my experience, kids were much less cruel in high school than in junior high school. Even though I was one of the heaviest girls, I gained a lot of confidence, enough to invite my own date to my lame-o prom. Junior high sucked the big one, but high school, I could do again if I had to.
September 17th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
I was a nerd who was liked by other nerds, feared by most of the mean girls, and ignored by everyone else.
Luckily I graduated early, went to college, and figured out I was ok.
High school is an evil gauntlet.
September 17th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Junior high sucked the big one, but high school, I could do again if I had to.
Hell yeah, junior high sucked. I wouldn’t say that high school was the best time in my life, because it definitely wasn’t, but it wasn’t a bad time, either.
And yes, the article was in Time. The particular one I’m referring to was a few weeks ago, but they seem to have done a redux of some of the material in that original one in a sidebar either this week or last.
September 17th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
I didn’t mind high school. I wasn’t super popular but I wasn’t a total geek, I had a fun circle of friends and the actual classes weren’t so bad. I don’t think I’d go back and relive it but it wasn’t a bad experience.
My 13 yr old is in 8th grade and he is tres cool. He thinks I’m a complete nerd. He’s rather…alternative. He was even sewing all of the pant legs on his jeans this weekend to make them skinnier!
September 17th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Karen your son IS super cool. I totally thought wow, Karen has a cool kid.
And yes, Jr. High was far worse than High School. I was so blessed to have a great choir teacher in Jr. High that gave me a solid foundation. Some kind of support during those turbulent years.
September 17th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
You know I didn’t drop out of school, but I did count the amount of days you could skip a class without failing and used them all.
September 17th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
I hated high school. But I went to a county school with bad funding and not only was I unchallenged academically… I was surrounded by people with that I had nothing in common with.
College was a great time, however. I almost miss it.
September 17th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Oooh college (and Shelli’s college experience equates to: too many damn music programs– though they rocked–at a community college. And a vocational college)
Anyway, I LOVED college. I totally came into my own then and had way too much fun.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
I call my high school years my unconscious years. Complete, utter disaster. I had no idea what I was doing, where I was going, who I was supposed to be…I was lost, for sure. I hung with the headbangers (but never really fit in) until my senior year when I found a bunch of other misfits and those people are still my friends. And we all turned out okay, believe it or not.
I finally figured stuff out in college and became “cool”. And conscious. And productive. What a concept!
September 17th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
September 17th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
I hated high school, and wouldn’t go back for any amount of money!!! I was one of those smart kids who didn’t have to study. I wasn’t popular at all, but I had a lots of friends at least until we moved the summer after my sophomore year. I was all excited. I was ready for a fresh start, but I think I only became more invisible. I went to my 10 year reunion, but don’t plan on going back. I would love to go to the reunion of the first school that I went to though if I were ever invited.
September 17th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
Sassy, I bet if you signed up under classmates.com you could go! Or email someone in that class (freaking everyone is on MySpace!)
Julie, I always think it’s cool when someone can stay friends with their high school friends. I kind of looped around, lost contact, and am back to being friends with them again.
Emma, nice. The library is a freaking carnival.
September 17th, 2007 at 11:57 pm
I had a pretty good high school experience. I was semi-popular in my “clique”. There was a lot of drama that I could have done without but for the most part it was fun…
September 18th, 2007 at 12:34 am
Hi ladytink, thanks for coming by! Yeah the drama part…eek. I saw enough of that to last a life time.
September 18th, 2007 at 4:55 am
I liked high school, although I’m not sure I’d like to be there now. It seems much more complicated than it used to be.
September 18th, 2007 at 10:57 am
My HS reunion (20 YEARS HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!) is in a few weeks and I want to go but no one will step up and plan a get-together for our class *sigh* so I guess I’ll stay home and write.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
OMG, I hated HS. HATED, LOATHED, DESPISED. I did OK, but hated doing it. I loved band, but band kids were weird in my school even though we won every freakin compitition. Later I found my niche in art, but the ‘art kids’ and I hated eachother so it, too, was awful.
If I could have gotten away with it I would have done what Fiesty did.
No way I would go to a reunion.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Shelley, I’m sure it’s way more complex and dangerous now. That’s why I worry for my kid!
Amie, you should go if you liked HS. Is there a reunion in itself?
Eva, yeah I really don’t see the reason to go to a reunion. Most of the people I was friends with were either in the class ahead of me or after me. Now if they had a reunion just for choir people (or band or art, drama, etc!) then I’d totally go.
September 19th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
I liked High School. It was fun. I don’t regret a minute of it but I don’t still long for the moments either. And yeah, prom was a little bit of a let down, especially for eighty dollars a ticket (and this was 1993 people. Imagine the inflation.)