Purple prose
I painted my office purple today. The result is 1) I love my office! and 2) I’m delirious from paint fumes. And, since I’m so loopy, I thought today would be a lovely time to discuss clitoral stimulation. WARNING: 18 AND OVER ONLY BECAUSE THERE IS A NAUGHTY PICTURE AHEAD
I was recently looking at the submission guidelines for Black Lace books and I came across the following:
“One thing of which I’m dubious is a sex scene where female orgasm happens solely (and often immediately) by means of penetration. Some form of clitoral stimulation is nearly always necessary for female orgasm to occur…”
So, is this actually true? Personally, I can get off without clitoral stimulation, but there has to be a lot of other stuff happening in other places, if you know what I mean. Also, thanks to Karen’s post, we all know various ways to describe The Climax. So, when you must describe the clitoris, what do you call it? Hard nubbin? Button of love? Needy little thing? I prefer the last option, actually.
Anyway, be naughty and tell us. Is clitoral stimulation necessary?
September 6th, 2007 at 12:36 am
Woot! Woot! I’m Feisty’s first!
I used clit quite a lot but not nubbin so much. By the way did you know there’s a picture of a butterfly in your post?
September 6th, 2007 at 12:55 am
LOL, Emma! I’m glad you used to clit. And yes, I did see that butterfly. Isn’t she purty?
September 6th, 2007 at 1:44 am
Actually, I don’t care much for clitoral stimulation from guys. It doesn’t “feel” right. Fingers are too rough, and tongue feels off as well. A lot of times, I have to have guys stop because it’s just not feeling good. (and it’s not that they’re bad. It just doesn’t always work for my body.)
If I’m having sex with a guy, I’m more interested in penetration. I can orgasm somewhat easily and very multiply if the angle is right from penetration.
It annoys me to no end when women get all pissy about “OMG! Don’t have the woman come from penetration! That’s sooooo unrealistic!” because… wtf? Am I not real or something? I know it’s not the usual reaction, but to swing to the other end of the extreme is just as bad.
As for what you call it… I usually refer to it as a clit. Sometimes I use other words, but that’s the main direct one that doesn’t sound completely stupid. (Sorry, but I’m not crazy on the word “nub.” :P)
September 6th, 2007 at 2:57 am
Gawd, the things I find when I get up in the middle of the night to pee. (Maybe I should move my ‘puter off the path to the potty.)
Um, questions … Nope, clit stim not necessary any more. Used to be. The penetration part is what’s become necessary lately.
I rarely call it anything other than clit when writing. Nub(bin) is just too much like razor stubble to be sexy.
September 6th, 2007 at 3:27 am
I’m another fan of the little word “clit”. Without going back and checking, I would bet that it is by FAR the dominant word I use. I’m just not all that big on the whole alternate description thing. Clit and cock just sound right to me… love button? Throbbing missle of manhood? I just can’t go there.
From a guys point of view, the only real hang up about direct stimulation is that it has been so pounded into our heads that it is necessary (okay, well, pounded into the heads of those few of us that actually listen) that it is almost a need on the opposite side. “I NEED to go there so she can come.”
It can be very difficult to move away from that goal orientation and just trust her to tell you that she is getting what she wants.
September 6th, 2007 at 4:03 am
“Clit” = good word. “Stimulation” = depends on what else is going on, but yeah, most often necessary. “Pressure just above” = even better, thank you VERY much!
Ooh, I do love this blog for all the fun discussions. Ms. Fiesty, how about some pics of the purple office? I’m getting ready to paint my bedroom, where my writing area is, and I’m thinking praline/neutral for the room itself (so I can have purple bed linen, amongst other colors) then purple for the alcove where my desk/shelves are.
September 6th, 2007 at 7:11 am
Okay, this is one of those sitches where everyone’s right and no one’s wrong. It’s very individual. BTW children, if you pull out your textbooks and turn to page…you will note that penetration, apart from the pleasurable benefits of the “idea” of such, does produce, in a slightly more roundabout way, clitoral stimulation. The “roundabout” part means that the “male member” in question must be patient and interested enough to discover the correct “angle” and last long enough to achieve the objective. Or just dumb lucky. JMHO.
Hmm. It would be soo nice to discover variations to the word “clit,” which is what I usually use. Not too fond of “nubbin” or “button,” but I won’t promise I’ve never used them. Not too many alternatives…
September 6th, 2007 at 10:30 am
I use clit - I rarely use any other words to describe it. As Will said, clit just works.
And I prefer clitorial stimulation tho penetration can work for me as well. Poke poke.
Yes indeed we are all different.
And yeah that’s quite the picture of the…butterfly you have there. Can I admit that when we told Shelli on the phone about the photo that she asked if it was YOUR butterfly Feist? I loved that.
September 6th, 2007 at 10:30 am
Could I have more “that’s” in THAT last sentence? I don’t think so.
September 6th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Holy shit! There’s a big vag in my face. Thanks, Feisty.
Ummm. I do need clit stimulation. But I’m sure if I was with someone a long time and we got in a routine, anything would be possible. I just, hmm, how do I phrase this. I don’t get out much.
I know exactly what publisher you’re talking about to!
LOL. Yes, and I did ask if it was your butterfly. But that’s only because you were talking about your wax job last week. Wax on, wax off.
September 6th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Too. Not to.
September 6th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
No prob, Shelli. And no, that’s not my butterfly. Nice landing strip, though.
““Yes,” she sighed. Her clit was a needy little thing. “Touch me there.” His clever fingers rubbed her so hard, back and forth, back and forth, until she was pleading him to let her come.”
Needy little thing! I like it.
September 6th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I dont need clitoral stimulation-definitely a penetration type of girl-but I know its rare {though not as rare as I thought after this post}.
September 6th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
Oh and “needy little thing” is my new favorite description LOL
September 6th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
I’ve heard needy clit, I think Sasha did it once. Or something. Or was it greedy. I loved it though. I wanted mine to be greedy/needy little clits.
September 6th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
When it comes down to it (get it? comes?) I think a woman just wants a good fuck. Am I wrong here, girls?
And I’ll definitely put up some pics of my office as soon as I hang my new shades. It’s very yummy in here!
I have used the word nub, but I promised myself never to do it again.
September 6th, 2007 at 11:04 pm
I think I’ve done nub,and bud, and bundle of nerves. And kernel. Yes. Like kernel of popcorn. Only kernel of clit.
September 6th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
Kernel, eh? Hm. Makes me want to pop something.
September 7th, 2007 at 4:27 am
Narrator: Johnny sat there for a few moments and then just clicked on a link for fantasy football. Lacking a clitoris (or at least one he had the opportunity to work with for the time being) he found himself in the strange position of being virtually speechless. Film at 11…..
September 7th, 2007 at 8:14 am
I used to think something was wrong with me (or maybe the way I was having sex) because the penetration never worked for me. I mean, it feels nice and everything…I call it ’scratching the itch’…because there is a certain satisfaction after that part of sex. However, I MUST have the old oral stim or finger stim to get off. Oral is best!
September 7th, 2007 at 11:21 am
Clit is a great word. Nubbin, not so much. It bugs me. Nubbin lovin’? I don’t think so. It’s like taking an XXX rated movie and narrating it for a G rated audience.
And personally speaking, I’ve only had 1 penetration only orgasm. It’s all me. I’m okay with that. I love my clit stim tyvm.
September 7th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Sheesh! You don’t drop by for few days and you get this in your face. LOL!
Love the butterfly…very artistic.
I use any word that suits the moment, the characters and the mood. Some female characters wouldn’t think clit…some would only think bundle of nerves or nubbin or whatever. I try to think/be my character when I write, so I use whatever works for them.
As for what works for me…none of yer bidnez!
Bonnie
September 7th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Hi Bonnie, Mel and Kris!
I’m still baffled why anyone would let a butterfly hover over their hoo ha. It gives me the heebie jeebies.
September 7th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Hoo ha, Shelli? Now *there’s* a word to use in a sex scene.
He trailed his lips down her belly, the welcoming scent of her hoo ha enticing him lower…
Yeah, I’ll try it…see if the copy editor snorts coffee out her nose.
Bonnie
September 7th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
OMG Bonnie… I think I spit wine out my nose!
I can not come from clit stim… Penetration all the way… I think it is also why I am not all that big on oral and I can come from one thrust. Eek did I just say that.
Blushing,
Lacy.
September 7th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
LMAO, Bonnie! I think it definitely gives a story personality. Hee hee.
September 8th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Thanks for all the pointers, ladies.
I’ve used nub, kernel, bud, bump and others. I like to change up a lot. I’ve never used clitoris though. It sounds too clinical for me.
And hello? Don’t forget the G-Spot! I’ve found that working a woman’s clit with lips and tongue while having two fingers working her G-spot is pretty much guaranteed to send her gibbering off into space.
September 8th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
Why, Fiesty. I’m so glad we’re getting to know you like this.
Clit, yes. Except for when I’m writing historicals, and then I use …clit. Or avoid naming That Which Shall Be Needy. I may have used nob, but I think clit is pretty old. I’ll have to look it up again.
And I’m a penetration girl.
September 8th, 2007 at 10:18 pm
I meant nub, not nob. Although a nub may be nibbled by a nob. And it kinda is a teeny nob. (I wouldn’t use that one of course)
stopping now…