I know to some women it is the ultimate treasure hunt, the ultimate discovery. Over the years Sex and the City and Cosmo certainly added to this hype. Finding the perfect, sexy heel. No matter the price or designer. And sometimes people are willing to drop 4 figures for a pair! (I’ve never joined that club, 3 figures gives me enough buyer regret!)

Well, I’m here to say I’m not playing anymore. That’s right. I just can’t do it. I will no long wear sexy heels that look way better on Barbie, than on me.

Maybe it’s because I’ve gained too much weight, maybe it’s because I’ve hit the big 3-0, maybe it’s because I have a kid and I just don’t care, but I’m here to say I’m done. I’m done trying to torture my feet into foot fetish level of sexy shoes. I mean just look at that pic, sure it’s sexy. And I’m sure some men and woman truly get off on that kind of thing. But I look at that and think…Oh. My. God. The pain! The horror! My feet literally throb!

It’s been building for a few years. This resentment and anger toward any shoes with a heel over one inch. I mean, I usually only put them on for conferences, or for when I’m going out and just trying to look sexyish/cute/stylish. But I’m that chick you see walking through the halls at conference, swinging her heeled shoes from her fingers. And then  last night, I wanted to look oh so cute in my freaking NATURALIZER heels, but by the end of the night, same thing. My feet were trashed. Even the comfortable heels kill me.

So you know what? I give up. I fold. I surrender. I have an entire closet full of heels I’ve worn once or twice. Heels that cause me more pain than pleasure (really thinking hard here how heels have ever brought me pleasure…)

From now on, my relationship with shoes will be cute flats, the occasional wedge for short periods of time, and…sigh, the love of my life (and possibly the ugliest shoe created) the Dansko! So worth the money because they last for years! Not to mention they feel like a constant massage on your arches when you walk. Oh God. I think I just had a foot orgasm.

Now seriously. Don’t look for me at conference and glance down to check out what ugly shoes I’ll be wearing, because this is just a challenge. I’ll find cute, comfortable shoes. I promise. As blog readers as my witness, I will bring sexy back…just without the heel.

Am I the only one who’s given up on heels? The only one who just can’t take it anymore? Because seriously, can’t toes be sexy in flip flops with a cute pedicure? Or maybe I’ve just missed the secret trick to standing in heels for longer than five minutes. Because I just can’t do it! And, really, that image below just ain’t natural…