It’s a monstrosity
Okay. We’ve all been there. Reading a book, totally into it, and then suddenly there’s one word. One word that jerks you out of your deep read and leaves you dry. Makes you shake your head and ask, “Why, God? Why?”
That word for me is…
I feel so strongly about my dislike for this word, I put down my book to write this post. I am here to say, I am picking a fight with the word mons. Never in my entire thirty years, has the word mons ever come up in a conversation. Never I tell you. Or wait, maybe it has. But only after I read it and a book and went to my other writer friends to bitch. It just happened again. I’m in the middle of this absolutely fabulous book. I love it, can’t put it down, it’s the best thing I’ve read in awhile. And then pops up that one word to taunt me,
pulled me out of the story like a big ole slap in the face. It just ain’t normal, I tell ya. I mean, it’s not like you go into the gyno and they use the word mons. People don’t get hot and heavy and declare how much their mons is throbbing. It’s just a weird word, and… eeeewish. At least I say eeew every time I read it. It’s the one word I cannot stand in a romance novel. Cannot stand. The ONLY exception might be in a historical, but even then I wince a little as I force it down. Truth be told, I’d rather see the dirty C or P word. But even they’re not necessary to get the point across. You can get around it. There are other words or phrases.
So we all know the word that just pulls me out of a books, but how about you? Is there a word or phrase that can pull you right out of a story? It could be just me, but does anyone else have this gag reflex to the word,
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:10 am
I’m not a big fan of the word mons. At all. It’s kinda freaky - cos you’re right. I’ve never heard it used in my life except for the occasional romance book.
I can’t think of any words that just throw me for a loop though I know they’re out there…
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:17 am
Exactly! I had to look it up the first time I saw it. I think it was in an EC book too. I mean, I figured I knew what the hero was touching, but I wanted to be sure.
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:18 am
I’m not fond of MONS myself. It’s a weird and very UN-sexy word.
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:21 am
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:28 am
Yeah, not sexy at all, Deanna. Well, IMHO.
Emma, I know there’s those who like it, cause it’s been growing in popularity. I see it more now than I used to. You’re right about the Native American names! LOL.
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:50 am
I’ve never used the word myself, so I probably wouldn’t insert it in my writing. Btw, how’d you get the letters M-O-N-S to turn and dance and everything? Kewel.
(have to beware of the humping smilie now. LOL).
July 23rd, 2007 at 2:00 am
That is gross and so not sexy.
I’ll take the c-word over mons- thanks.
July 23rd, 2007 at 2:05 am
Ellen, www.glitter-graphics.com they have a text generator. I had too much fun.
Ginger, eeeeew! Slimey? Did they not have an editor who waved a big hell no flag?!
July 23rd, 2007 at 3:36 am
Right there with you, but the word I hate is “quim” aaagghh I can’t stand it!!
July 23rd, 2007 at 4:26 am
LOL! What *is* a mons, anyway? As for “slimey,” what the HELL were they thinking? Thanks, but I’d rather have c&p anyday.
As for words that turn me off–frisson. Oh, and manhood.
July 23rd, 2007 at 6:18 am
I don’t really have a gross me out word, but I do have a word that is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Slacks. *shudder* Just typing it makes me cringe. I *hate* that word.
I hate the word cunt. But it doesn’t gross me out, really, it just makes me mad because it’s so derogatory. There’s nothing sexy about it and I dislike seeing it in a sex scene especially.
July 23rd, 2007 at 7:12 am
You do realize that we’re rapidly eliminating words that we can use in our stories, right?
Do we want to put ourselves out of business?
July 23rd, 2007 at 8:32 am
I start to giggle every time I read an erotic historical that uses the word “cunny.” Geeeez. Also, I really can’t deal with things “spurting.” That’s disgusting.
July 23rd, 2007 at 9:11 am
Okay, now I gotta go back and edit to be sure I didn’t use that. I agree with Rob, our limited choices are becoming more so by the minute.
Definitely, “spurting” and “slimey” don’t work.
I have to say though, “quim” just kills it for me. I know that is becoming more popular, but I just can’t handle it.
July 23rd, 2007 at 9:20 am
castration
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
yeah… that is a word I tend to avoid
I have pain now…..
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:14 am
Mons is not so bad in my book. I mean - what else would you call it? Mound? Bump? Area? It’s not the “real business” part - it’s the part in general, the part above.
“Quim” and “cunny” - GACK! Can’t stand ‘em. I’ve put books down that used them more than a couple of times. C-word (rhymes with “hunt”) I can handle. “Cock” I downright love (cockity cock cock).
Anyone remember the South Park episode where the boys were learning the meaning behind the word “queef”? It was hilarious.
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:17 am
Squim? OMG… I don’t want to know… Really. Mons is not a keeper either. I’m going to sound like such a prude, but I don’t like to read C&P and attached equipment in shelf purchased books.
It throws me out of the story. If I’m reading something that I know will be hot, fine, but most of the time there’s not even a hint and then WAMOOH! I can look over just abut anything else with hardly a trip.
Yeah, I’m a wimp
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:28 am
I totally can’t deal with pebbled nubbins. Or pebbled anything. Pebbles are just not sexy to me. Nubbins either. They sound like something got lopped off.
Mons has a nice pretentious flair to it though. I like me a bit of purple prose. I may have to work that one into an upcoming manuscript
Jen
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:35 am
HI
Ok, I’ll admit, the word that is sure to make me put down a book or story is ‘cunt’. I detest the word.
Some man called me that once, and I went after him. I was going to tear his head off.
I’ve read books where a woman uses it in reference to herself…I mean come on! Are you going to really say “f**k my c**t”
Cock I can deal with–guys use it. “Prick” has the same negative connotation for me. Someone ticks you off, ya call him a prick. It’s not a part of any anatomy I want to play with!
I’m not a prude, really! But, sheeshhhhh.
cunny is too funny. Remember the old Beatrice Small books? She used it a lot, if I remember correctly.
Mons doesn’t bother me. At least not to the point that I’ll put a book down.
But c**t? It’s going to the trash pile, I’m afraid.
July 23rd, 2007 at 11:07 am
July 23rd, 2007 at 11:37 am
Moist. There, I said it. And now I’ve thrown up in my mouth a little.
I hope you’re happy.
July 23rd, 2007 at 11:48 am
I’ve never heard of squim! I may have to go look it up.
The ‘C’ word, wow, I’m surprised how many people despise it. I actually used to hate it. But I got used to it and confess to putting it in my erotic romances sporatically. If the scene is down and dirty it fits.
I’ll never put down a book over a word though. I’ll just flinch a little and read on.
Oh yeah, cunny just makes me giggle and shake my head a bit. That word is like the marshmallow version of c*nt.
July 23rd, 2007 at 11:48 am
These are so great! Nubbins freak me out - I don’t have a problem with pebbled but nubbins - ewwww.
God I think I’ve used the word spurt and moist (**winces** sorry ladies). But slimey? That’s just wrong.
July 23rd, 2007 at 11:53 am
I’ve done moist. And I think I just did spurting in my sci fi that won SOM. But that book is just dirty.
July 23rd, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Okay…mons made me giggle. Why? I can remember reading my OB-GYN chart when I was pregnant. Remember, when they measure you from the navel to the mons pubis. I always figured that had to be the polite latin term for pubic hair. So…I went to look it up…and now have a picture of a hairy bump.
Don’t think I could use this in a book!nhhhhnnnnnn
July 23rd, 2007 at 12:21 pm
LOL@dancing Mons. I don’t much care for it–it’s like non-gender specific.
I think my hot-button has to be *cough* “creaming pussies” or some variation thereof. Her pussed creamed, her pussy was creamy, she was so creamy etc.
It totally squicks me out like she’s all diseased and stuff. Same for frothy–we don’t want frothy pussies either.
July 23rd, 2007 at 12:26 pm
I’d never even heard the word in my life before starting to read romances a couple of years ago. lol What pulls me out of the story though are things like turgid love shaft. Just makes me giggle. LOL
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Turgid just makes me think of turds
and no big purple straining cocks either
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Vulva.
Ick. I know its meaning. I know it’s classical Latin and often used in medical terminology, but it SOUNDS horrible. As if a person is trying to throw up when they say it.
Now, with that being said, I very much like the early Vulgar Latin term “cunnus” for the same thing and have used it in three stories so far. It’s gentler on the ears than “vulva” and doesn’t have the same derogatory or degrading connotations (at least for me) that “cunt” does.
Mons doesn’t phase me either way. It’s etymology is also Latin based and means “mountain.” Of course if you’re reading that in the context of a love scene and translating “mons” into “mountain” every time you read it, it could be very funny.
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:40 pm
That was hysterical!! I love the dancing, wiggling ‘mons’ parts. Yeah, I’m not big into that word either. Even in historical I’d prefer quim or cunny. Ya know?
Hugs,
Anna j. Evans
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:46 pm
So far none of the words on the list fall into my “put the book down” category. That’s usually reserved for situations that crop up in the course of a read, but not a word. I have to say, though, if I came across slimey in any love scene I would probably make a face and not be feeling the love. There is one word I used to hate but feel it’s kind of benign now: relationship. Hehehehehe…I don’t know why that word used to set me off, but it did. But it depended on how it was used. If it was used in a math problem fine. If used to describe an association between two people who were intimately invovled….no. Also the word lover. I find it very pretensious, though I have learned to use it in my books.
-Kat
July 23rd, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Oh I definitely agree. Except I’ve only read it in historicals. People actually write that today? Double YUCK!
July 23rd, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Mons is okay. I don’t hate it. It won’t make me put a book down.
Now the word I really dislike is slit. Eeewww…
Vulva reminds me of the car Volvo.
Sage
July 23rd, 2007 at 4:14 pm
I really hate it when someone calls something “fugazi,” that old Italian American standby. Okay, kidding, no one has used that in a romance I bet.
Hmnn, the c-word for a woman or part of woman’s anatomy. Can’t even type it. Disgusting. Not crazy about anything pearly, velvety, or slick, but I’ve used those words.
July 23rd, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Monsday, Monsday.
You make me laugh, Shelli! You really do. You make my mons throb.
July 23rd, 2007 at 4:47 pm
None of the words so far bother me enough to put a book down, although I’m not too fond of slit. My least favourites are spunk and jism. I mean eewugh! They’re just not sexy.
July 23rd, 2007 at 4:56 pm
I hate the word lube. And I also hate the word spurt and those two words often have to go together.
July 23rd, 2007 at 5:23 pm
My word is SNAKE. Yep, you got it - that tongue or arm that ’snakes’ out. I’m sorry, but I don’t find that terribly attractive. LOL.
Creepy crawly things have no business in the romantic part of life.
July 23rd, 2007 at 5:27 pm
Okay some of these are cracking me up. Like slit? LOL. I remember someone once referred to it as an ax wound, DEANNA, and I couldn’t stop laughing.
Vulva totally reminds me of a car. And labia just sounds so clinical, but I use it.
Amie, I am SO guilty of the creamy stuff.
I swear, the bottom line is, we hate some of these phrases, but we have to use some of them. It’s either that or get tagged as purple.
July 23rd, 2007 at 7:43 pm
OMG I am laughing so hard I can’t even think of anything to say. Great topic.
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Everyone has different likes and dislikes. I don’t care for the words vagina and penis in a love scene. Those are too clinical to me to sound sexy. The others don’t bother me unless they’re used incorrectly.
July 24th, 2007 at 2:10 am
LOL! I’ve never quite understood where mons came from anyway. It certainly doesn’t sound particularly flattering!
July 24th, 2007 at 2:20 am
I’m glad people got a laugh! I certainly did, especially once I saw my dancing Mons. Speaking of… what is mons?
mons
Anatomy.
1. an area of the body that is higher than neighboring areas.
2. mons pubis.
3. mons veneris.
——————————-
[Origin: 1615–25; < NL; L mōns mountain, hill; see mount2]
How did this become a romantic word?! Higher than neighboring areas? So it seems people might even be using it in the wrong context?
July 24th, 2007 at 10:54 am
I think of 70s bush, all teased up and hairsprayed, the actress swaggering forward bush-first onto the bow-chika-bow scene.
Give me the c-word over pussy any day. At least the c-word has an emotional punch (I don’t find it derogatory).
I especially loathe pussy used in the woman’s POV. Come ON. When’s the last time you thought “Ugh, my pussy itches, I need to change soaps”?
My favorite genitalia words (”genitalia” being one of my least favorite words) are penis and labia. They’re ADULT words. ADULT is sexy to me.
(The first and only Blaze I ever read had the heroine “squirt” her orgasm. I never bought another Blaze.)
July 24th, 2007 at 11:01 am
Cleft. I really hate the word cleft in relation to body parts.
Also I just got into this huge debate over “pulsating”. Pulsing, yes, pulsating–see a doctor or an exorcist…
But that is me.
July 24th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
I’m going to try very hard to forget the preceding comments.
I’ve used every one of the words here at some point in my writing. Except ’slimey’ which is definitely not erotic.
But if I stop using any of these words I won’t have any vocabulary left to write with.
July 24th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I’m not a fan of mons or the c-word or slit, but the worst for me is IMPALE. I hate that goddammn word
July 24th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
I can’t recall seeing that in any books I’ve read. I don’t think so, anyway. For me, it’s cream. As in, “she creamed on his tongue”.
July 24th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Okay, this was some conversation to read through… LOL
And I thought I was past learning some new words…
I also dislike mons — it’s just a vague word, it doesn’t really even sound like anything. It’s annoying to say. I can’t say I would ever close a book because of any one word, but I don’t care much for for the slang “pussy,” frankly. That’s one of those words only less than savory men I’ve known tend to use, and insultingly, much like cunt, so neither one works for me.
Oh, there are weird words that authors latch on to, and it becomes very noticeable. I love Nora, read all of her books, but for a while she was hooked on a antiquated use of the word “legion” — people’s enemies were “legion” their talents were “legion” their potato chips were “legion” — it was a weird way of saying “many” and annoyed me every single time I read it. I’d have to stop reading and my complaints on the issue were legion. Not that she cares, of course, and I still read the books. ;)
I’ve occasionally had readers complain about a word — a friend of mine didn’t like “interloper” but I just laugh, and I’m not about to avoid words based on people’s preferences, and don’t think anyone else should either, so no worries about limited choices. ;)
Sam
July 25th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
I have a mons. The editor put it in to replace a pussy.
You know what I hate? The inconsistency of having a…waxed heroine, but then the hero dives into her moist curl. Or perhaps it is the moist I am objecting to?
We all skim the annoying bits, though right? You actually put the book down when it is getting good, Shelli? Wow. I am not that writerly!
July 25th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
WOW-so many people commenting LOL. I have no problem with mons at all. My issues are when femal anatomy is likened to an open wound. And yes I have seen that. Other than that-if it works in the story-I think its better than using the P or C word every single time.
July 25th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Isabella, I’m guilty of that! For sure.
I use it, sorry. 
I don’t think I would let myself be talked into mons. I’d change it to something else. Mound. Swell of her sex. Something. It just doesn’t match my writing style.
I put the book down because I needed to blog anyway, and the mons–like I said–just jerked me right out. I couldn’t read the scene. I skipped it.
July 29th, 2007 at 9:53 am
This is a great discussion. I think these words work in erotic romance and have used some of them in my novel. I think I used mons once, though I’m actually not a big fan of mons or vulva. I’m a big fan of whatever ratchets the sexual tension between a hero and heroine higher.
The only thing that makes me put a book down is bad writing. Or torture (especially of animals). A crit partner once wrote about Korea and included a horrible scene in which a dog was torched by the locals which they believed strengthened them (go figure). When I protested, she defended it saying it had really happened. I told her if I read something like that in a book, I’d be so upset that I’d throw the book away right then (and maybe torch it first).
Elizabeth Amber
Nicholas, The Lords of Satyr
erotic historical paranormal romance
Kensington Aphrodisia, August 2007