What is sexy? by Bonnie Edwards
Hi everyone. I’m Bonnie Edwards and I write for Aphrodisia from Kensington. I helped launch the line with the first anthology, The Hard Stuff, then moved on to Pure Sex and right now I have a series out that started in March. Midnight Confessions is set in a haunted bordello and the spirits who lived there tell my heroine their stories of love lost and found. Need I say they’re hot stories? (This is the naughty-and-spice blog isn’t it?)
When Shelli asked me to do this guest blog I jumped at the opportunity! It’s especially nice since I learned that Amie Stuart hangs around over here. We’re in BUILT together, an anthology that’s releasing at the end of July from Aphrodisia.
Even so, I’ve been at a loss to come up with a topic, until I found myself struggling with a first sex scene. I tapped my chin and stared at my blank screen. HMMMM….first sex…first time together…how fast? Or will it be slow? How will these people go at each other?
Sometimes I know without thinking. But other times, and depending on the story, it’s a conundrum.
Then, I thought. What’s sexy? What is it that my hero has noticed about this woman in particular? What small thing keeps his attention? The one thing that calls to him.
Her boots.
Are these thigh high boots? Long and sexy with eyelets up the front? Are they stiletto boots? Black leather? Red patent?
Nope.
They’re work boots.
She’s in a bra and panties and short, leather, steel toed work boots. With her thick wooly socks rolled to a nice round rim at the top.
With a strong, tanned man untying them. On his knees.
Is that sexy? I think so. What do you think is sexy? Especially in a first sex scene?
Bonnie Edwards
July 6th, 2007 at 2:27 am
Hi, Bonnie! Thanks for blogging at NAS today!
Hmm what do I think is sexy? The whole ‘If we don’t do this now we’ll combust into a ball of fire’ type of feel. That’s how some of my sex scenes are. Where they’ve put all the reasons not to do it aside (or just lose all self control), and go at it like rabbits.
But at the same time, I also like writing a sex scene (and have done so in a few books!) where the sex isn’t perfect. Because, come on, it’s not like your body comes with an instruction manual. Sometimes it takes a couple sexscapades to get past pleasant sex and move onto mind blowing.
July 6th, 2007 at 6:57 am
In a lot of my work, the first sex scene is the only sex scene. Those I try to make it apparent that the characters are completely lost in the moment. The passion that they feel towards each other is overwhelming, and if I do it right, the reader feels that.
In the few that have more than one, the first is just a teaser. Most often in my works the central character isn’t all that sure they want to be involved. So the first scene is rather tentative. And the passion that comes about is a surprise to at least one of the characters.
In any case, passion is the most important emotion. That’s what I try to bring across.
July 6th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Hey Bonnie:
Your sex scenes sizzle! I love writing those opening scenes where the hero and heroine aren’t quite comfortable with each other yet, and you do a fantastic job of it.
July 6th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Fun post, Bonnie. I love the work boots! Sounds like a fantastic - and yes, very sexy - scene.
Shelli, that’s a great comment about sex scenes not always having to be perfect. Especially the first one — because, let’s face it, how often is the first time absolutely magical? OK, we’re writing romance and so we want it to be pretty darned good, but I think a touch of humor can go a long way in a sexy book. And those imperfect first times sure lend themselves to humor.
I was writing the first big sex scene in HOT IN HERE (Kensington Aphrodisia), where the couple is all about acting out each other’s fantasies. Scott’s a firefighter and Jenny’s fantasy is a “rescue-me” one, where he rescues her from a burning building. She, of course, imagines something very romantic and sexy. So did I, as the writer. But then my hero did a real guy thing and took her too literally and… well, let’s just say, it wasn’t exactly perfect. And the point came where Jenny figured she could either knee the guy in the balls (can I say that here?
) or salvage the situation and get that great sex she was so craving. You can guess which option she chose. (Do you have a wink, wink, nudge, nudge icon on this blog?)
This raises another point about sex scenes, and writing in general. The author may think she knows where she’s going with a scene, but then the characters get their hands on the keyboard and things can turn out way differently than the author ever anticipated. And usually way better!
July 6th, 2007 at 11:13 am
I LOVE the contrast of work boots! That’s some hot description lady!
And you’re right, that first sex scene can be a booger. You want it to be different every time but you also have to give your characters an ear and see what they think/want. And of course the sex itself even has to be in character–I think. In Hands On I think I had every kind of sex (except anal?) but it fit the characters…Lexi was a little kinky and liked the thrill of sex in public places, Lanie was firmly bisexual and very comfortable with it–same for Cherise in Kink who just OOZED sexuality. The first time her and D’Angelo have sex he KNOWS he’s being greedy and promises himself next time he’ll be more patient. I had the worst time keeping those two out of bed
July 6th, 2007 at 11:17 am
But then my hero did a real guy thing and took her too literally and… well, let’s just say, it wasn’t exactly perfect
I love giving my characters free reign, but I also think sometimes (see my note above) you’ve got to keep an eye on them and make sure they don’t get totally carried away or refuse to do anything but f*ck like buinnes
July 6th, 2007 at 11:38 am
I looove the workboots and the bra and panties scene :)
I agree with everyone else here, the first sex scene is interesting, because they are still working on getting comfortable with each other. One thing I love with those is the half undressed, didn’t quite get all the clothes off, so you have the partial skin to skin, partial clothes to skin thing going on. And since mine are paranormal, there’s usually always some other interesting element thrown in there for good measure…LOL!
Great guest blog topic, Bonnie!
Cassie
July 6th, 2007 at 11:44 am
Oh, that scene sounds awesome!! And I agree that sexy is often what is unexpected, like a girl in work boots and lingerie. In the book I just wrote the H/H get reall turned on when they see the other’s knife throwing skills.
Thanks for the awesome post!
July 6th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Only you Feist…only you
July 6th, 2007 at 11:58 am
[…] Edwards is guest blogging at NAS today on that first sex scene! Posted by Amie • 07.06.07 […]
July 6th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
thanks for all the interesting comments. Shelli, I like the “go-for-it” attitude too. But sometimes the characters can’t set aside their ’stuff’. Or they’re tentative b/c their heart’s are already halfway to love and it’s scary.
Rob, I agree, sometimes a teaser works beautifully. In Midnight Confessions II I have a scene where a naked man joins a woman in a bathtub…then climbs out again. She’s furious!
that was a lot of fun to write. (g)
Amie, the sex does have to be in character…that’s why the first time is so important to get right. Shy, or rough, or fast or slow…all depends on who they are. And that’s why the awkwardness works then, too.
As much as we write erotic romance…it’s still all about character.
I forgot to mention that I blogged today over at www.theaphrodisiaauthors.blogspot.com too. That post is about “ideas”. I have a parade of them…
Bonnie
July 6th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Ah, sex scenes. What gets me? Tends to be the dialogue. It can be kinky, it can be confused, or it can be totally off topic to what’s actually going on… but let’s just say I’ve discovered I’m a pretty verbal gal.
Interestingly enough, your topic times exactly with the sex scene posting on the Online 2007
Crusie/Mayer Writing Workshop. (Great site. If you read nothing else, check out the lesson under “Heart of the Story” for central question and conflict box.)
http://www.crusiemayer.com/workshop/she-wrote-action-scenes-sex/jenny/
July 6th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
I love writing those first sex scenes–they tell me if the rest of the book will work or not and really help me get to know my characters. Love the visual of the work boots and undies!
July 6th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I’m with the rest, love the work boots!
But then I am at tomboy, so I tend to go for this sort of thing. Writing sex scenes is funny for me. I am either in the mood to do it or not. However, I find I can right the first one easier than the rest, if only because there is so much more than just the steam integral to that first scene. 
Yeah, that is true of most all sex scenes, but for me the first is usually a big part of character development.
July 6th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Hi Bonnie!
I like your description — sounds sexy to me. :)
I think sexy can take on a lot of aspects — I heard once that one of the sexiest things a man can do for a woman (and maybe the same is true in reverse) is love the thing she hates — so if she hates her thighs, he would be on his knees licking them. ;)
I think first sex scenes can be sexy because they’ve been waiting so long to get at each other, so they’re kind of crazed, or, they might not know each other at all, and so they really can let go and be wild.
It’s all sexy. :) Good to see you,
Sam
July 6th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Jodi I’m the same way! Some times I’m totally into the sex scenes, and other times it’s like a root canal.
OMG Samantha! LOL. I swear, if a guy tried to pay attention to a part of my body I despise, I’d probably deck him. But that’s just me!
July 6th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Hi Bonnie! So glad to “see” you over here today!!!
What’s sexy in a first sex scene hmmmm….I love that whole initial reveal, when the clothes are being peeled off and the couple is so ready, so anxious to get it on. Yeah, revealing themselves to each other for the first time, that’s sexy to me.
Great post Bonnie, loved everyone’s responses. Only Feist would be impressed with knife throwing skills….
July 6th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Okay.
I write romantic comedy, so maybe mine are a little different. Who knows?
The first time I had to write a sex scene, I was thinking about my characters. Of course, it came out clumsy and a bit funny, because my hero is shy and a bit straitlaced.
In my WIP, the first sex scene finally arrives after my poor heroine has done everything but strip herself naked and throw herself into the lap of the hero. He’s a bit old-fashioned. He’d like to know her better before she bodyslams him. She’s a bit confused about this.
Another author once told me that our hero and heroine are virgins with each other — I think about that while I’m writing. What is it that makes it special for them, besides being the first time?
Julie
July 6th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
So, okay. I wrote it.
And then, the book took off! Just flew for the rest of the session.
Karen, I hear ya on the first reveal. It’s a place where time stops for them…unless they’re racing along too quickly to catch a breath.
Julie, good idea to think of them as virgins with each other.
Glad people are enjoying the work boots…I didn’t plan them to play such a big part of their first time together…but he just couldn’t keep from staring at them. A woman in work boots is not his usual thing so they kind of represent the differences in their lives. In a way…the reason they can’t be together.
I must have a thing for shoes. In an earlier novella in Pure Sex I had a woman toss her wedding shoes in the ocean…a carry on bag of stilletoes taunted her throughout the story until she dropped them in the drink, too!
Hm…gotta go think about shoes…
Bonnie
July 6th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Kate D, I agree! Dialogue is totally sexy! My characters never shut up when they’re doing it.
July 6th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
Thanks so MUCH, Shelli, for asking me to blog over here today. (g)
It was a blast.
Take care everyone and happy reading!
Bonnie
July 6th, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Bonnie thanks for guest blogging with us!
And Feist I don’t mind dialogue with my sex as long as it’s not about who’s going to pick up the dry cleaning
July 9th, 2007 at 11:26 am
I’m with Feisty and Kate regarding dialogue - though I do think work boots/bra/panties are HOT, Bonnie.
I discovered that I think a guy decked out in all leather on a powerful bike is sexy. I didn’t really know this until I bought/rode a motorcycle.
July 30th, 2007 at 10:28 am
[…] reading Bonnie Edward’s blog about What is Sexy? and writing my guest blog titled I Need a Man – both at Naughty and Spice – I’ve been forced […]
August 1st, 2008 at 11:11 am
[…] reading Bonnie Edward’s blog about What is Sexy? and writing my guest blog titled I Need a Man – both at Naughty and Spice – I’ve been forced […]