I’m obsessed with men these days. Each morning, as I walk to BART, get on the train, get off the train, walk to the office, etc. my eyes rove the crowd, pausing at a set of piercing eyes here, mentally undressing a well-dressed guy there, while one question loops endlessly through my mind …“Could he be Derek?”

And then, at night, I’m scouring the Internet, looking at site after site, photo after photo, of hunky men. When one catches my eye, I send him an email … “Wanna be Derek?”

Yes, I am desperate for a man – in fact, I’m desperate for MANY men. But not in the way you think. You see, I recently launched the SEX LOUNGE Finding Derek CONTEST, an online contest where hunky guys compete to be the hero of my book.

So when I see a great-looking guy, my pulse races, my heart sings, and I instantly think, “Derek!”

And when one of these sexy men I’ve approached says, “Yeah, sure, I’d like to be Derek,” the thrill of victory shoots through my body.

And when one of these sexy men turns me down rudely (that’s another story) or nicely, the pain of rejection nicks my heart.

I’m not surprised by this physical reaction. But what I am surprised by is the fact that this physical reaction is triggered by … business, that my appreciation of men is with an eye towards business. The business of finding Dereks. The business of providing interesting content to attract web site visitors. The business of giving the men who enter the contest something of value for their time.

It’s only when I’m not thinking about business … when I allow myself to view their photos, listen to their audio clips, and read their words without the focus on business, that I appreciate them as real-live men.

Which, I suppose, now that I think about it, shouldn’t be so surprising.
For, is this really much different than writing? I mean, when I’m immersed in the business of writing and under deadline to get a book done, there are a lot of emotions swirling through my body, but not one of them is arousal. But afterwards, months later, when I read the book as if I were a reader, I do feel the flush of arousal.

Yet another example of the power of the mind. Yet another example of the role my mind plays to get me “in the mood.”

So … is it just me? Have others been in situations where they’ve been attracted to men for non-personal reasons — or been able to turn the valve of sexual attraction on and off?

NOTE: Just a quick note to say thanks so much to Amie for inviting me here and to the Naughty and Spice gals for allowing me to be here!