Lies My Mama Told Me
So Shel’s blog about the end of her innocence got me thinking……..about the lies that were either told to us, or implied. And this is going to be WAY TMI so my apologies to the gents out there….but if your dad lied to you, I’d love to hear about it. It amazes me how little Mom told me about anything (and told me nothing about sex–that’s okay though. Everything I learned about sex I got from Penthouse Forum–thanks Dad :yes: ). Like what, did you think I was getting it all via osmosis?
Here’s a few I came up with……..
1. Tampons will pop your cherry. (Though I like to think of he, the popper of cherry, as a tampon, he was in fact a guy). Of course this was also back in the day when there was one brand of pads and they were like 8 miles long.
2. Hanging around with bad girls will give you a bad reputation. Ok I’m not sure if this was true or not, but I damned sure didn’t care. More importantly I thought you were stupid for caring about what other people thought. And besides, Donya’s mom let her.
3. Someday your prince will come. :lmao: While Dad was teaching me how to check the fluids in my truck….Man you really know how to fuck a girl up. :no: Because you see, if I had a prince, he’d check them for me, light the grill for me and occasionally rub my feet. But that’s okay. We’re good. I’m learning from your mistakes. I’m teaching my boys to cook. :evillaugh:
June 19th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
OMG on the tampon thing. I’m trying to think of lies my mother told me but I really can’t. The favorite truth she told me when I was about 14?
“All men are assholes.”
Then she looked around to see if my dad was anywhere near. I loved that!
June 19th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
Well I’m not sure it was a lie, more like a neglected to mention. I remember when I learned about a woman’s period, and I was properly horrified. And then I went and met up with my friends to go swimming.
We were all in the same Girl Scout troup, so all the moms in the troop had decided to do ‘the talk’ at the same time. We all got red ‘what’s happening to me’ and ‘where did i come from’ or something. (Which are great books!) So I ran up to my friend and was like “OMG! We’re going to bleed once a month, did you hear?”
And my friend was like, “Yeah. For a week!”
I nearly fainted. I hadn’t been told it would be for a week. I still remember the horror.
Other than that, I can’t think of any lies. I was so sheltered. We just didn’t talk about sex after the talk.
June 19th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
I seriously thought you could pop your cherry riding a horse.
June 19th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
Dude, Feisty, I heard that too!
And honestly, that’s why I never wore tampons.
June 19th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
OMG too funny. I can’t think of many lies my mother told me, but she did have me believing in Santa Claus until I was twelve. She strung me along - first he was the traditional Santa. Then, he was mail order Santa. Talk about screwing up a kid - at 12 I knew all about sex, yet I thought Santa ran a mail order catalog and parents had to pay him.
June 20th, 2007 at 12:14 am
OMG Julie! That’s the funniest shit I’ve ever heard! Your mom sounds fabulous!
June 20th, 2007 at 12:32 am
LMAO! Julia! OMG! That’s awesome!
June 20th, 2007 at 12:35 am