TMI
Hmmm so I’ve been thinking about this whole dating thing. I can talk about dating with you guys, can’t I? We’re all friends here right?
So anyway, for those of you who don’t know me, I’ve been a single mom for ten years (in september and yes, I celebrate). On the downside, well, I have a tendancy to date losers. Now I’m not saying all men are losers; I’m just saying I PICK losers, so about six years ago, after the last Boyfriend Disasters, I decided I needed to work on me, and stop dating, and just get right with myself. Overall, I think this was the best decission I could have made, however six years was a bit too long. I’ve decided that one thing I really need to do for myself is go on a date. Soon. And not just for the obvious reasons, either. I really need to get a life.
But here’s the thing…and this is where it gets a bit…well…tacky.
I don’t like big men. Overweight men even *sigh* and it’s tacky because I’m overweight. Now, don’t get me wrong…gimme a man built like Toby Keith and I’m all over it, give me a tall skinny man, give me a man with a swimmers build (give me Gary Allen) and I’m a goner but for the most part, fat men just don’t do it for me. And I feel like SUCH a hypocrite. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not all about looks and I have dated overweight men before–okay one, and I thought he was a total hottie (ex bull rider with a goatee, a great smile and the prettiest green eyes I’ve ever … gazed into) and great in bed to boot. He’s the one who introduced me to Edward Norton (who is now one of my fave actors).
FWIW I also have old man issues–never mind that I’ll be 38 this year, old men squick me out. Unfortunately, Vee says that at my age, I’m old-man bait 
Someone please share your hangups with me so I don’t feel so bad. Even if you’re married, what were your dating hangups when you were single and did you marry someone who challenged them?
June 12th, 2007 at 9:43 am
Goodness, you ask such hard questions, Amie. :-) I will admit, I, too, do have a problem with men being overweight. Oh, a little overweight is fine - but extreme overweight is a problem.
Young guys are also a problem for me. I’m 43 and, for whatever reason, I seem to be attracting young men. Maybe it’s all the ‘older woman’ stereotypes. Who knows? At any rate, while it’s flattering, and does do definite wonders for my ego (shallow, I know), I just can’t do it.
One of the guys I met was this 28 year old, Italian guy. He was GORGEOUS. I mean, I felt all those fluttery things we write about and could stare at him for hours (but I didn’t - I do have pride, you know). Fantastic accent, had that European intensity thing (i.e., where you feel like you have 200% of the man’s attention - how rare is that? LOL - where he wants to know all about you because you are oh-so-interesting, etc.) that makes you feel special (and hard to distinguish the B.S. from the truth - LOL). But he was just so YOUNG - that youthful idealism, had just started his career, etc. And when I met some of his 20-something friends … OMG, I felt like a mom.
We only had one date, which was fun, like a trip down memory lane when I was in college, but I just can’t handle the age difference.
June 12th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
When I met my husband he bike raced and had 4% body fat. I loved that about him.
Now, having said all that I have a huge crush on Jack Black.
June 12th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Feist I LOVE tall skinny men–probably bec. they’re the exact opopsite of me and well to be really frank, I’ve never met one that wasn’t well endowed
I love Jack Black for the same reason I love Adam Sandler–the sense of humor.
June 12th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Rachelle he sounds divine! Luckily I’m not looking to get married again
June 12th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
And FWIW 23 is the extreme low end of what I’d date. I’d rather have a man in his 30’s only because as I think you mentioned/hinted at, they’re in a different place in their lives.
June 12th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
OMG, we watched Borat last night. That man is hot-he’s tall, thin and has fingers like baseball bats. And he’s funny.
June 12th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
PS what do you consider an old man? Over 40? 50? Cause I’d still do Sean Connery. Even if I had to close my eyes. That voice…
June 12th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
LOL@Borat’s fingers! I saw him on some award show nad he’s not bad looking but I just can’t bear to watch that movie.
Ok Old…for me for dating purposes (and there are exceptions to every rule since I’ve seen 35 YO men look 50) is over 45. I’ll be 38 this year so even that’s a stretch for me.
June 12th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Well, I’m married, and my husband and I have gone chubby together (oh my we really need to go on a diet). When I was a single mom I was worried about finding a man who would love me for me and my child. But I was in my 20s then and it’s a whole different ballgame as you get older. And I say that cos you have a different attitude, things aren’t as idealized, etc. You know what I mean? Am I making a mess of this? What I’m saying is that I would be looking for a
Yeah, if I were single now, I think I would be tempted to hook up w/ some younger dude and have bangin’ sex.
And that’s it. Was that 
???
June 12th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I have too much fun with the smilies.
Seriously, they’re too much fun.
June 12th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
I’m with you Karen. I’d just wante some good old wall bangin’ sex.
June 12th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Ya’ll and those damned smileys!
BTW I actually got this reply from someone. Needless to say, they got a piece of my mind.
chubby women shouldn’t have so many demands……
June 12th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
June 12th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
LOL Feist that was my initial response. I have no idea. But as I told that person, at least I know what I want, what I don’t want and what I won’t put up with
June 12th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
I like a guy with some meat on his bones. I’m always afraid I’ll break a skinny guy. But then… I’m at the point where I just want that chemistry. I just want a decent guy. Sigh. It’s so damn hard to find!
June 12th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
I can’t help it.
June 12th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
Hey Feisty
Amie…I mean to say you crack me the fuck up.
June 12th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
Okay, okay I’m SORRY you’re old man bait!!
You could think of it as a compliment…no?
Okay, I’m going…
June 13th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Okay. Here’s the thing. I don’t want to fuck an old fat guy. It’s just not as much…fun. Anyway, I need someone who has a nice physique. That said, I don’t want Mr. Universe. Too much brawn is NOT sexy to me. But not scrawny either. I need to be able to wrap my ankles around his back.
So I’m picky. I have to be attracted to him right off the bat and at least think I might want to sleep with him before I can date him.
I know. It’s so wrong.
And I have rules. He has to buy me dinner and drinks before we sleep together at least once. And he has to be a decent kisser. If you slobber all over my face, fuggetaboutit.
Car sex optional.
June 13th, 2007 at 8:57 am
PS
I should clarify - when I meant “old fat guy” I really meant fat. You know I only date men who are 6+ years older than me. LOL! And in my experience, they are super hot in the sack too.
I know I know
June 13th, 2007 at 10:05 am
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June 13th, 2007 at 10:08 am
[…] this am it was my day at the LSB author’s blog sooooooo since we’ve been chatting about online dating all week, I decided to do an early Thursday Thirteen over there. Posted by Amie • 06.13.07 […]
June 13th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Michelle you slut!
June 13th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Shelli glad to oblige!
Raine….I forgive you it’s just sad that it’s so true
June 13th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
Amie - Don’t even get me started. However, I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one that has been divorced a long time and is still pretty young. After all, 40 is the new 30! ~~ But not for a man. I want someone close to my age. I don’t want a younger, because frankly, I’ve had too much happen in my life that forced me to grow up, develop armor, whatever. I don’t want to babysit an immature guy. The looks are a plus for me, but at this point, I’m looking for someone that I like being around on a regular basis, can have a decent conversation that isn’t all about them with, and sex at this point would be good, too.
I keep hopin’ I’ll just stumble across someone that has the guts to approach me. I’m just not brave enough or assertive enough when it comes to the man/woman thing to take the initiative. Could explain the 13 year drought…
June 14th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Well, I think we’re all in agreement on the not looking to raise someone sentiment - if I’d wanted that experience, I’d have chosen to have kids! … Skinny men … that’s not really my first choice but … if a guy’s got a great face, i.e., one that I’m attracted to, then, well, this is the top priority for me. After all, this is what I must look at all the time.
I just can’t handle the extremes - emaciated and obese. But … I never say never. Because whenever I use the word “never” that’s exactly what seems to happen. 
June 16th, 2007 at 11:25 am
[…] if you’re single and want to share your thoughts, Ames is blogging about that here and […]