It’s quick…but oh so good!

Crystal Jordan here serving as secretary for THE Lillian Feisty, as she is too busy to type because she’s being a good little woman and cooking me dinner. And if you don’t know what I mean by Secretary, you should really see the movie.

We’re chatting about what it’s like for writer friends who you know online to show up and invade your house. I would be the invading horde here. (Also, I’m watching Mr. Manroot make dirty Secretary comments to her since she read the first paragraph out loud over my shoulder while making pasta) Any second now, she’s going to assume the position and then I’ll have a real show. Can’t wait for them to bust out the saddle and the strap-on.

Back to invading hordes.

The thing with writer friends is that we’re spread to hell and gone. Every state and country has writers we can be friends with, some of them we never have the chance to meet in real life. We all try to get together for conferences every year, but finances and distance keep some away.

What keeps us together are telephones and the internet. We have IMing (Feisty said LOL out loud since I’ve been here–I mocked the shit out of her, of course) and email to exchange ideas and critiquing.

In our real, face to face interactions, we don’t have anyone to relate the writing lifestyle or to talk to about our writer friends. Who would you tell that Karen had an awesome-ass new story idea, or Eden told a funny inside joke? Thus ensues the madness of having a writer friend show up. You have someone to talk to, and you find out shit that you never knew. (The title of this post is an example–Feisty screamed “I never knew you liked country” when we were making music selections. Who doesn’t like cuntry, crazy ass? *spelling approved by Mr. Manroot himself*)

*This message has been read and approved by Lillian Feisty *

I’m boring today - and brain dead. I’m on a mini vacation with my family and we walked all over the Monterey Bay Aquarium yesterday. Then I was kept up half the night by squawking seagulls. I’m not kidding. I love the coast but come on! That’s a little too authentic for my taste.

So anywho we’re gonna go the beach today and do whatever else. Run around chasing after maniac children perhaps? I’ve been people watching like crazy - there are some freaks that hang out here in downtown Monterey! It’s been very interesting.

I’m sorry for the boring post. My brain is too fried and tired to think up something interesting…

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You know over here at NAS, we tend to be irreverant, silly, naughty….and we like it that way, but we do all have a serious side (and NO this isn’t about old women pumping gas…sorta). Anyway, I was over at Karen’s the other day, lurking as usual when I stumbled on Skyla Dawn’s new project to benefit Equality Now, an organization that works for women’s rights all over the world (and no I’m not blogging about this to win a prize. I do have a point. It’ll just take me a bit to get there. I’m saying this because I think it’s important to say and as a writer, I’m in a place to say it).

We all know the atrocities committed against women all over the world, and I think oftentimes we find ourselves thinking, “It’s too much. There’s nothing I can do to help”. It’s almost overwhelming to think that a woman could be kidnapped and sold as a sex slave, killed for showing her face or walking down the street with the wrong man, but it happens. Hell even here in the United States women are killed trying to leave abusive relationships.

Guess what? There IS something you can do to help.

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I have another confession. And I’m fully prepared to get tomatoes thrown at me, or have people arguing from every neck of the woods. Which is fine, I love a good argument. Okay. That’s a lie, I hate confrontation. But back to my subject.

The Muse.  

n.  

1. Greek Mythology Any of the nine daughters of Mnemosyne and Zeus, each of whom presided over a different art or science.
2. muse
   1. A guiding spirit.
   2. A source of inspiration.
3. muse A poet.

What is a Muse to Shelli? The biggest excuse to procrastinate that I’ve ever heard. That’s right. I’m here to say that I don’t buy it. Not at all, not one bit.

If I did believe in the Muse, I would have fired her ass and sent her packing to the back of the unemployment line. How many times have I sat around thinking, ‘I’m just not inspired.’ or ‘I just don’t know where to take this scene.’ If I relied on a Muse, I’d probably sit around eating doughnuts and playing PacMan while I waited for my Muse to bless me with a vision. I would have, count’m, zero books completed. Cause we’ve all been there, when we’re just stuck.

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The opinions in this video are those of Chris Rock and not necessarily representative of the ladies of Naughty and Spice.

I’m obsessed with men these days. Each morning, as I walk to BART, get on the train, get off the train, walk to the office, etc. my eyes rove the crowd, pausing at a set of piercing eyes here, mentally undressing a well-dressed guy there, while one question loops endlessly through my mind …“Could he be Derek?”

And then, at night, I’m scouring the Internet, looking at site after site, photo after photo, of hunky men. When one catches my eye, I send him an email … “Wanna be Derek?”

Yes, I am desperate for a man – in fact, I’m desperate for MANY men. But not in the way you think. You see, I recently launched the SEX LOUNGE Finding Derek CONTEST, an online contest where hunky guys compete to be the hero of my book.

So when I see a great-looking guy, my pulse races, my heart sings, and I instantly think, “Derek!”

And when one of these sexy men I’ve approached says, “Yeah, sure, I’d like to be Derek,” the thrill of victory shoots through my body.

And when one of these sexy men turns me down rudely (that’s another story) or nicely, the pain of rejection nicks my heart.

I’m not surprised by this physical reaction. But what I am surprised by is the fact that this physical reaction is triggered by … business, that my appreciation of men is with an eye towards business. The business of finding Dereks. The business of providing interesting content to attract web site visitors. The business of giving the men who enter the contest something of value for their time.

It’s only when I’m not thinking about business … when I allow myself to view their photos, listen to their audio clips, and read their words without the focus on business, that I appreciate them as real-live men.

Which, I suppose, now that I think about it, shouldn’t be so surprising.
For, is this really much different than writing? I mean, when I’m immersed in the business of writing and under deadline to get a book done, there are a lot of emotions swirling through my body, but not one of them is arousal. But afterwards, months later, when I read the book as if I were a reader, I do feel the flush of arousal.

Yet another example of the power of the mind. Yet another example of the role my mind plays to get me “in the mood.”

So … is it just me? Have others been in situations where they’ve been attracted to men for non-personal reasons — or been able to turn the valve of sexual attraction on and off?

NOTE: Just a quick note to say thanks so much to Amie for inviting me here and to the Naughty and Spice gals for allowing me to be here!