A Small Fetish
I was recently at a suburbia-hell barbeque when I drunkenly admitted I was getting a new tattoo. The woman I was talking to appeared slightly shocked and asked me if I was having a midlife crisis. I smiled, bitch-slapped her and said no. Then I ate another shrimp skewer.
But it got me wondering. Why are there some things that, if you do them after a certain age, make people react like you’re having some sort of identify crisis? It seems like just yesterday my mom was telling me I was too young to have my body permanently inked and now moms my own age are informing me I’m too old. What neither party knows is that, over the past seventeen years, I’ve found myself in a tattoo artist’s chair on several occasions.
Because here’s the thing: tattoos make me hot. I’m not talking about a hawt guy with awesome sleeves. (Although that does make me weak in the knees.) I am talking about my physical response to having someone give me a tattoo.
I love it all, the whole process. I love walking into the shop, I love the inevitable loud metal music. I love the buzz of the electric pencil, telling me there are others, right at that moment, on the receiving end of an artist’s needle.
I love sitting in the chair and having a man I don’t know touch my skin. And no matter how big the guy is hee always has gentle hands. When he presses the soft, crinkly transfer paper against me I have to suppress my shudder. And then I watch him mix up the ink in those tiny plastic cups and, like a surgeon, my tattoo artist removes a needle from a sterile packet and attaches it to his gun. And then he stills me with one hand as he prepares to mark my skin. He asks if I’m ready.
The pain doesn’t bother me. In fact just it’s the opposite. It makes my temperature skyrocket and I get this slow wave of adrenaline that builds as he stings me with the tattoo gun. The pain is uneven as the tip goes over the various nerves on my body, leaving me with a constant hum of anticipation. One minute a pinprick and the next a million little stabs but to me, it’s all good.
Afterwards, I always crave a cigarette but fortunately I’m old enough to know better.
May 31st, 2007 at 1:00 am
Yeah what’s up with the midlife crisis thing? I say it about myself and then I’m like, wait a minute. No you’re not! You’re an adult, you’re doing something you WANT to do, no matter what age you are. So there.
And with that, I’m off to get my nose pierced on Friday night. Whoo hoo!
May 31st, 2007 at 1:05 am
That is just…sexy. I love getting tattoos but you just took it to a whole new level of “YES!” LOL Seriously I need to have one now. Okay as soon as Cookie gets paid ;)
Only you my friend, could use the almighty pen to make mashed potatoes and sharp objects sexy. *bowing humbly in your presence*
May 31st, 2007 at 1:39 am
LMAO omg you crack me UP! I have one tattoo. ONE. It’s a matching one I got with my best friend. She had to hold my hand, and I nearly fainted. I don’t get how anyone enjoys the skin getting ripped across cement feeling, but feisty, I understand it’s some kind of mid-life crisis thing (WTF if we’re mid-life, then I’m screwed!)
I don’t think I’d ever get another tattoo. Wait, I would. I’d do a mother daughter tattoo with Emma. Does that make me a bad mom? :D
May 31st, 2007 at 9:48 am
Tattoos, piercing, dyeing your hair blue, short t-shirts… why can’t a woman do these after a certain age without anyone asking them if they’re having a life crisis? Do you need a crisis to get a tattoo or your belly pierced? Pleeezeee!
May 31st, 2007 at 10:06 am
I got my first tattoo when “nice college girls” didn’t. Now everyone’s getting them! Where was that woman living, under a rock?
*keeks*
I dye my hair all manner of colors and wear skull t-shirts, and I’m far, far too frigging young to be in my “midlife” no matter if I’m having a crisis or not.
M
May 31st, 2007 at 11:18 am
LOL Great post! I want a tattoo, but in my case it IS a mid-life crisis.
May 31st, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Megan I really want to wear skull t-shirts, but I keep thinking people will tell me I’m trying to be a teenager. You’ve inspired me. Thanks :D
May 31st, 2007 at 5:20 pm
TAttoos ROCK!!!!!!!!!!! Ok so I only have two, and I’m kind of picky about what I permanently put on my body (Shell ya big wuss!) but eventually I’ll get around to having more.
Megan I swear if I can drop 30 more pounds I”m cutting all my hair off. That’s what I really really want! (and pert boobs but damn that’ll have to go on my santa list)
May 31st, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Reading your post was…um…yeah…what? I’m all distracted now.
I’m actually writing a novella now for Bantam about tattoo fetishes-a story very close to my heart. I only have two, myself, but I’m always tempted to get more-lots more! I am going to have some cover work done on one of them, hopefully later this year. I can’t wait! It’ll probably be two sittings-lovely! I’m getting all shivery just thinking about it.
But yeah-I got my second tattoo for my 45th birthday in September, and just got my nose pierced the other day, and I get those same questions all the time. *shrug* I also wear my Ramone’s T-shirts and my skull and crossbones jewelry. I’m an old (literally-lol!)rock n’ roll girl, so this is just me.
May 31st, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Lisa you are so freaking hot! I thought you were like 31 when I first saw your pic. Rock on with your bad self, girl! :D
May 31st, 2007 at 10:04 pm
May 31st, 2007 at 10:05 pm
PS i want my nose pierced.
May 31st, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Sorry, just had to come check out all the FABULOUS smilies Amie put up for us!!
May 31st, 2007 at 10:36 pm
Amie - go get it pierced!!!!
May 31st, 2007 at 10:51 pm
OMG I love the boobs!! Boobs are cool. Mine sometimes hit me in th eye.
May 31st, 2007 at 10:52 pm
OMG, like we totally have a “go fuck yourself” emoticon. How cool is that? Is it wrong that I think that’s cool?
May 31st, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Hey Feisty, I can’t tell you how many black eyes I’ve given myself from when I run too hard and my breasts fly up and just smack the shit out of my face.
June 1st, 2007 at 12:54 am
I loved today’s post. I’ve always found tattoos to be incredibly erotic. There’s something about the way they look on the skin… I can’t really explain it. The dark lines, the intricate curves. When I see a man with great tattoos, my first instinct is literally to touch them (I don’t of course, unless he’s really hot… lol). I just can’t help it.
June 1st, 2007 at 12:58 am
I swear we were separated at birth. I’ve never heard anyone describe it so accurately. I think I’m going to get a little work done before I head to Dallas.
OMG! I have a weakness for guys with sleeves. You guys need a drooly smiley cuz I swear I drooled while reading this.
Rock on Lisa. Rock on Feist!
June 1st, 2007 at 1:40 am
I just had to try it out!
June 1st, 2007 at 12:44 pm
Feisty no way!
ISabella guys with tattoos totally get me (right after cowboys *sigh*)
Karen roadtrip for nationals!!!
June 1st, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Shelli, my next tatto is going to have a mamma bird and a baby bird. And you know what I say to those bitches?