So yeah we all write erotic romance on this blog. And it’s pretty hot, what we write, if I do say so myself. I’ve always leaned towards the hotter, more explicit stuff when I write, even before I discovered there was an actual subgenre called erotic romance. So when I happened upon it, I was thrilled. When I started reading it, I loved it. I even thought, “Hey, I could write this…”

Here I am a couple of years later writing it and actually getting it published. Not with the big dogs but that’s okay. Hopefully that will come with time. I enjoy writing erotic romance – I like writing about sex, relationships, tortured characters, funny characters. There’s the initial meeting, the build up, all of that sexual tension that makes you crazy, finally culminating into a passionate love scene (or two, or three – you get the idea). Aw, yeah baby! Gotta love it.

I have a gripe, though. A problem with romance writers who think they want to jump on the erotic romance bandwagon (though with the topics of late flying around forums and loops about RWA/PAN changes, I think less people wanna jump on that bandwagon. I’m not going there though). That all it takes is a bunch of tits and ass references and the hero/heroine thinking, “I wanna fuck do him/her NOW!” and presto! You have an erotic romance.

Sorry but that’s not true.

Okay, yeah, erotic romance is sexy and hot. Stimulating and mind blowing. Sometimes it’s just downright dirty and naughty and makes you wonder if that position is even possible. But it’s not bare bones writing with a few bad words thrown in for good measure. It’s not poorly written, emotionless sex for a few pages where the readers feel no connection.

As a reader I want to connect. I want to feel what the heroine is feeling, I want to know what the hero is thinking. As a writer, I try to portray that as much as possible. Hopefully I’m hitting the mark.

My friend and fellow erotic romance writer Emma Petersen described it best – it’s a feeling. A well crafted erotic romance book is a mood, it takes you someplace. It makes you feel good, it turns you on, whatever. It’s not bad porn.

When I see these attempts at erotic romance by those who most likely aren’t comfortable writing it, it looks like an attempt at bad porn. And I’m not bagging on those who try to write it and really want to. As with anything, it takes time to learn how to write something and write it well – but why force yourself to write something you’re clearly not comfortable doing? For instance, I could never write a romantic suspense. I would be so uncomfortable and I would make a complete mess of it. Trust me.

So as a reader, what are you looking for from an erotic romance novel? When you read a lot of it (and I do), you realize just how varied the genre is. Do you like it raunchy and dirty? Do you like it more flowery and descriptive? Sassy and funny? I’d love to hear your opinions.